Rehired! (My Personal Story Part II)

When I shared my story in the blog post entitled "How I Bounced Back from the Sack", I was overwhelmed by the support I received. I alluded to the fact that there was some upheaval at work at the time that post was published, without exactly divulging all the details.

It is a twisted story with many lessons. By the time this is posted it would have been around two weeks since I (re)started my new job. Confused? let me explain.

First week at my 'new' job

I have been at my company for six years working in different departments, but within the same organisation. In June 2015, I was awarded a year's secondment (a secondment is when you are on loan to a department or organisation for a fixed period of time, whilst your original position is kept warm for you.), and around three months into my one years secondment, I was told that my contract would be extended for another year. I was ECSTATIC. Not only was the position a MASSIVE step up from what I was doing originally,I also loved my new team, and the job offered a better work life balance.

So from when I was given the good news until early this year, I was very much in the knowledge and the belief that I would be sitting comfy in my new position for a little longer than anticipated.

How naive.

My years' contract in pictures

I think it was February or March this year, my stony faced manager took me into her office to tell me that she was sorry, but HR had rejected her application to keep me on for a year longer, and come June I would have to go back to my original post.

I. Was. Floored.

From then, I was consumed by thoughts of going back to a role that I thought I had grown out of. I thought about colleagues that joined my organisation after me, and had basically frog leaped over me to higher positions. I couldn't help but think about all I had poured into two degrees; about the number of  "we regret to inform you..." emails and the repetitive advice to "keep trying".

After getting over the initial disappointment, I went into "fight mode". This meant upgrading my LinkedIn account and sending out a ton of emails and CVs, which proved a futile exercise. It was as if heaven had shut the "career" door in my face, and God was looking down, and laughing in hysterics whilst I chased my own tail.

June was approaching fast, and as the countdown wilted down from months to weeks and finally days, I was becoming more panic stricken. My search for a new job became more frantic, and less focused. Because I was desperate, I almost willing to sell my soul for absolutely anything. The feeling of dread in my chest was becoming unbearable. And then June 22nd arrived.

This story is kind of long, so we'll continue next time :-) In the meantime, please comment below with any job hunting tips you may have. 

First Year At University? Let's Chat!

This is from a post that I published last year. However I thought it would be useful to repost an updated version as we are at "that time" again!

The advice I have here is a result of my own personal experiences in university. I have gone through the process twice so I know what I am talking about.Trust me. For those of you reading in the US, I am referring to what you call "college". 

Here are my tips for new university students.

1.Make a note of your coursework deadlines. Put them in your diary, and add in reminders a month, two weeks and one week prior to the due date. Better still, invest in a yearly planner you can put up on your wall. I say this because your lecturer will probably only give you the dates once. I studied French and Linguistics at Queen Mary, and made the mistake of not paying attention to the due date of my “Language in the USA” coursework deadline. The result was a rushed piece of work, hastily put together on the afternoon it was due. It attained no more than a C grade!

2. Find out how your faculty prefers for you to do your referencing and stick to it. Here is a very good guide from the Anglia Ruskin university.

3. I stayed at home whilst at university as the distance between my house and campus was too short for me to qualify for student accommodation. If you are in this position, strike a good friendship with someone in living on campus, who you can trust. You will be grateful for this on nights after long hours spent in the library, or partying!

4. Space out your schedule and give yourself some room to breathe.I remember in my first year cramming my Mondays with six hours worth of lectures  (yes! with no break). The result was knackering! I sometimes even skipped my last class altogether - not good at all.

5. If you are taking a class such as literature, or any other class that requires studying from one book for the entire semester get your own copy – even if it’s second-hand. Your campus library will normally only have a few copies of that particular book, and you may not be able to keep it for the whole semester.

Good luck with university. There is so much more you will learn besides the content of your lectures. Work hard, have fun and make friends!

I hope you find these tips useful. Please share any additional tips you might have below. 

"Good Traditional Values" that the Empowered Woman Must Shake Off.

Today's topic is coming straight from the heart so please forgive me if this entry is a little bit disjointed. The last few weeks have been quite full on and it all came to a head last week which resulted in my body finally giving up and becoming overrun with the flu! 

The blogging world can be a glossy place sometimes, with our photos edited to perfection and exciting updates of holidays and nights out at plush restaurants, so allow me to keep it real with y'all for just a second.

Over the weekend,  I received a distressing phone call from someone,  which left me feeling upset and very disempowered. This led me to think about some of the reasons why even as an adult with an empowerment blog, I am still overly sensitive,  concerned about others' opinions of me and often times super hard on myself,  particularly when I feel I have screwed up, in any area of my life.

After much thought, and long conversation with my fiancé, I figured that the main reason for these feelings of disempowerment is down to childhood conditioning. Many of the "good traditional values", or well meaning lessons that our parents instilled in us whether we like it or not has affected the way we reason and behave as adults. Oftentimes for the good, sometimes not so good. 

I come from a good ol' Ghanaian, Christian background where there is a lot of emphasis on  "God first"  and "respect for others". But there is also a lot of "mask wearing", and tiptoeing around others so not to appear less than squeaky clean. 

Although my upbringing has helped me to become a highly spiritual, respectful and hardworking member of society, they have also in some ways been to my detriment, So I have compiled a list of five "good traditional values"  that I believe have contributed to the way I act now, and have been my setback as a woman, and that I feel should be shaken off if I am going to progress in life. Whilst I am writing this for you, I am also writing this for myself.  In the words of one of my favourite gospel songs "as I minister to you, I minister to myself".  So let's learn together. 

1. What people think about your life choices is a reflection of whether they are wrong or right.

2. Answering back to someone older is disrespectful. Never do it. (This has been a major one, that has even hindered me from standing up to my superiors at work!)

3. Taking a break / rest = laziness

4. Good Christian (*insert alternative label here*) girls don't make mistakes. If you do, then said mistake should be followed by excessive regret and apologising to those who may or may not be affected.

5. Crying is silly. It's a sign of weakness and you must not let anyone EVER see you cry.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but these are the main beliefs I feel I subconsciously hold, although I find it hard to admit it.  

If you have read to the end, I would like to thank you.  I would also like to encourage you by saying that you are most probably doing better than you think. If you do feel you have screwed up in life lately, then do what you can to fix it, leave the rest to God, forget about it and move on!

Can you add any more to my list. What "good traditional values"  are you trying to shake off?"

Bouncing back from the sack! (My personal story)

Have you ever been laid off from a job? It’s not the best feeling is it? I can definitely relate to the feelings of rejection and sometimes shame that come with being told that your services will no longer be needed and that you are to clear your desk as quickly and as quietly as possible. Firstly, your source of (financial) security has been snatched away from you. Secondly, it seems as if your skills and abilities have been seriously undermined, and thirdly instead if being deemed a human being with a family, feelings and responsibilities, you have been treated like a simple redundant digit that should be cut off in order for the books to be balanced. Trust me girl, I know.

I have decided to write on this topic today because although, I have not been sacked, I have experienced a lot of upheaval at work recently, which reminds me of a particular episode that occurred six years ago.

In fact, it was around this time of year in 2010, I had just begun my first “grown up job” with a PR company in Waterloo in London (Oooh, I SO want to name and shame, but I probably shouldn't!). In fact, it was an internship which later on developed into paid work, so you could imagine my excitement. I hastily quit my customer service job at a well known womenswear company and irrationally turned down a much coveted internship. It all seemed like a good idea at the time, except, after two months I found myself sitting opposite my then manager, and being told “I just don’t think that this company is the right fit for you”

I was told to leave as quickly and as quietly as I can, and to basically not cause too much fuss (it was all very underhand, but at the time I was too timid to challenge my employer). Back then, I was younger with little experience of the cut throat culture that is sometimes at the core of the working world. With my wide eyed innocence, I had not yet learned to put on my big girls trousers, so I simply left so not to cause further offence. I  remember sobbing my little heart out as walked down Waterloo Bridge Road, not giving a care to the strange stares I was attracting.The resulting feelings were those of sadness, rejection, guilt and embarrassment at my perceived failure. 

So when this year, a few work related occurrences threatened to knock my confidence again, I made up my mind to not be subdued by the drama, but to rise above it. If you are going through the same, or similar situation, here is how I overcame those negative feelings, and you can too!

1. Know that there is a plan and a purpose for everything. 

It sounds cliché, but it is true. When I got laid off from the PR company, job hunting became inevitable. I prayed so hard to God to turn the mess into a stepping stone. Besides, the £55 a week I was getting from the government as Jobseekers Allowance paled in comparison to my bills and  love for having a generally good time. So, my search eventually led me to the company I currently work at. A company I have now been with for almost six years, which has allowed me to refine my French speaking skills and to travel a lot more than I otherwise would have.

2. Read positive literature.

I used to be such the cynic when it came to motivational books. However, I have picked up a few in the last few months as well as read some online articles that have helped me to channel my negative thoughts and feelings into positivity. It has also helped to open my eyes to the opportunities around me and to develop a craft outside of traditional employment. 

3. Don’t get sucked into pity

It's easy for well meaning friends and family to pull you into a pool of pity and to indulge your sadness for longer than needed. Don't misunderstand me, you do need your time to scream and cry. However, staying in that place for too long will prevent you from moving on. Make up your mind to respond positively to any negative comments and be mindful of the conversations you entertain.

4. Take what you have learned from your job, and make one hell of a killer CV

When my colleagues at the PR company learned what had happened, one of them kindly offered to email me all the press releases I had written, and the other materials I had produced. Granted, this might have been a breach of all sorts of company policies, but at the time I could care less! All that mattered was that I was armed with what I needed to impress the next potential employer. You may not go the the lengths that I did, but it does help to keep a record of every project you have been a part of, as well as every new skill you have acquired.It's also a good time to learn from your mistakes. Could you have perhaps put in more effort? Could you have attended a few more social events?

5. Network! Network! Network!

It's good to keep in touch with any contacts you have made in your industry. Begging or desperation is never a good look, but you could always mention in passing that you are "looking for a new opportunity". When it comes to social networking, think about how you'd want to be perceived by others, a.k.a. your personal branding. These days, prospective employers look to professional networking sites like LinkedIn to make decision on who to recruit, so make sure your profile is up to date! They also look at more informal social sites such as Facebook and Twitter so be careful about what you post!

I hope this post has been of help. Chin up dear. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't throw in the towel, just continue to be the best you. Someone WILL take notice!

What are some of the ways you have bounced back from the sack?

Have a wonderful August!

Four Things We Can All Learn From Donald Trump

Disclaimer: This is by no means an endorsement of Donald Trump. I could have written my blog post on "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People", but this is the positive zone, so...

With people in the UK voting for assembly members, councillors, mayors and police commissioners, today is the UK's biggest election day, and in keeping with the theme, I have decided to speak on something a bit controversial. Whatever our sentiments are towards Donald Trump's presidential campaign, there is no denying that there is a lot that can be learned from this man's apparent success.

Credits: Wikipedia

1. Have an unwavering belief in yourself
When Trump announced that he was running for presidency in June last year, I am sure we all laughed collectively. After that I didn't give it a second thought, because I actually thought there was no way this announcement could be serious. However, with the ever increasing amount of coverage Mr. Trump was receiving I began to realise that this guy is not a farce. But a full on presidential candidate. With a whole team behind him, and a small following of supporters! The lesson here? No matter what you are aiming for, believe in yourself, and others will believe in you too.

2. Be persistent and fight resistance!
After hearing that all the other republican candidates had fallen off the presidential wagon one by one, and that Trump will be THE likely republican nominee to face off the opposition, I could only stare at my TV screen in amazement. Like Trump, you need to keep going, even in the face of criticism and ridicule. 

Credits: cnn.com

3. Stand out from the crowd
Whilst the other candidates ((republican and democrat) have been blazing their campaign trail with talk about the economy and foreign policy, our friend Trump had other more pressing issues to speak about.  In this modern age, I can actually say I have never heard of any presidential candidate saying they will build a wall to keep immigrants out; or making lewd comments about a female reporter's monthly cycle . However, the joke that is Trump's presidential campaign has marked him out as the subject of many a discussions. I am by no means saying you should be as lewd, however I am saying that you can never expect to stand out if you are always trying to fit in.

4. Talent will get you there, determination will keep you there!
There is no doubt that Trump is a very successful businessman and TV personality. It is this success, that has catapulted him into popularity. But did you know that Trump has NO political experience? But what he does have is determination (and an amazing PR team!) What am I saying? Talent can only get you so far. 

Credits:abcnews.com

Sorry, I know you'd have  rather read about something else today, but what do you think? Are the any additional lessons we can learn from the man that is Trump?

What are your Q1 Results?

Praise be to God almighty! Winter has finally loosened its cold grip on life and has allowed Spring to poke its dainty foot through the door! Admittedly it has still been a little cool, BUT I have noticed that for some time now the evenings have been getting lighter. When the clocks went forward over the weekend I knew it was curtains for harsh, cold Winter.

How has 2016 been for you so far? Are you sticking to your new year’s resolutions? Are you on your way to achieving any goals set at the top of the year?

The end of March  signifies the end of the first quarter of the year, or "Q1" as most businesses refer to it. If you have been paying close attention to business news, you will have noticed that many companies released a statement of their Q1 results this month, and will do the same for Q2 (April to June) and Q3 (July to September).

As the core principle of most companies is to make a profit, these quarterly results will contain a detailed analysis of their earnings and other business performance measures.

Reviewing the year so far is so important as it is a good indication of how the rest of the year will go (whether good or bad) if current trends continue. It also presents companies with an opportunity to make any necessary financial and commercial adjustments if necessary, so they can hit any targets they have set for themselves.

Taking time to reflect every so often  is good for all of us, not just trading companies.  It may not be a financial analysis, but you can weigh what you have acquired in the past three months and how it has added to your value, be it experiences, friendships, knowledge or even a new attitude to life.

It’s NOT an opportunity to lament over resolutions already broken or things you haven’t done yet, but a time to celebrate what you have achieved so far, and to take stock of any “adjustments” you may need to make in order to put you back on the right track, if you feel you have veered off it.

For me, the first three months have been super busy. My fiancé and I have been heavily investing time, money and energy in a few projects, and whilst we have suffered a temporary knock in these areas, we do hope "projections" will go up in the future. Sorry if this does not make much sense for now. I do hope to be able to share more in my "Q2 results". 

So, my question again, what are your Q1 results?

A round up of the year so far in pictures

Just In Case!

Hi all

I don’t want to do too much talking today. But I do feel that this post is important. Simply  because most of us, on work days, spend most of our waking hours at our offices or places of work than we do in our own homes! So it’s important to ensure we are “well stocked”

Whether you have ever faced the aggravating situation of your tights laddering in the middle of the day, or have had to run back out onto the shop floor to serve customers after a lovely salad drenched in garlic dressing, I am sure you can agree with me that having your drawer or locker stocked with a few essential items is a very good idea.

Sometimes, your manager might ask you to attend a client event at very short notice, and if you're the kind of person who cannot say 'no', you'd want to make sure you have everything you need to freshen up!

I hope you enjoy viewing these pictures, and hopefully it will give you some ideas on some of the items you should perhaps keep at your place of work, “just in case!”

What are some of the items you feel should go in your work survival pack?

Study Time: Gratitude

Wow, it has been a hot minute since I spoke with you guys! I hope you are all doing well. I have been real busy!

The Belfry in St.Peters Square
Ghent, Belgium

One of the things I had the opportunity to do at work is visit Ghent in Belgium for three days. I attended the Flanders Belgium Travel Forum, which was the flagship event of the whole trip. It was for organised by the Visit Flanders Tourist Board and was another opportunity for key players in the travel industry to network and do business. Aside from the "work" part, I was blessed with the chance to tour the historical city of Ghent and to learn all about its history and culture.

The canal in the historical town

For someone who up until a couple of years was in a mundane job she wasn't exactly thrilled with,I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for how far I have come, and the opportunities that are now afforded me. This has inspired the theme of today's blog post. It's the latest installment of the Study Time series.

So, what is Gratitude? It is described as the quality of being thankful or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received.

The old Ghent prison
(You need to find out why it's called the Mammelokker. Hehe!)

For those of us who choose to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and the Bible, we ought to be grateful to God who we believe has blessed us with eternal life, life on earth and everything in it. 

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, MSG)

Not convinced? In an April 2015 study of 186 men and women with heart damage, researchers rated the people’s levels of gratitude and spiritual well-being. They found that higher gratitude scores were linked to having a better mood, higher quality sleep and less inflammation (Time.com, Nov 2015)

You cannot go to Belgium and not try a Belgian beer!

With that said, can we please do a short study on why gratefulness is important, and the benefits of displaying an attitude of gratitude?

1. It takes the focus off of what you don't have.

All that I am ...praise [bless] the Lord; everything in me ...·praise [bless] his holy name. My whole being ...praise [bless] the Lord and do not forget all his kindnesses [gifts; benefits]. (Psalms 103: 1,2 EXV)

. 

2. It attracts more kindness from others
Ruth fell at [Boaz's] feet and thanked him warmly. "What have I done to receive such kindness?"...At mealtime, Boaz called to her "come over here and help yourself to some food..." (Ruth 2: 10, 14a, NIV)

Dinner at the very prestigious Belga Queen

3. It grants you peace 

And when you pray, always give thanks... And God’s peace will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6b - 7a, ICB)

4. It grants you joy 

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name...For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work;at the works of your hands I sing for joy. (Psalm 92: 1, 4 ESV)

Belgian hot chocolate, with whipped cream. Mmmm.....

There is a story in the Good Book (Luke 17:11-19) of ten men suffering from leprosy, which is a horrible, flesh eating disease. Even today, these men are known as the ten lepers. Even though all ten were healed by Jesus, only one made a point of saying "thank you" to him. Jesus, astonished that only one of the ten had the common decency to say thank you, said to the one man "Get up and go. Your faith has healed you" (v19) Only God knows the implications of that for the other nine!

This is an important lesson in being grateful. So, how do you show gratitude?

1. Saying "thank you" (well that's obvious!)

2. Choosing to focus on the good

3. Being satisfied with what you have

4. Being joyful (different to happiness, which is only determined by your current circumstances)

5. Getting out of the mindset that somehow the world owes you something

6. Giving back to others

Thank you Visit Flanders! Very grateful for the opportunity.

Whether you choose to take the 100 days of gratitude challenge, or simply make notes on everything you have to be grateful for, please do not forget that an attitude of gratitude will determine your altitude!

What are some of the ways in which you show gratitude, or have been shown gratitude? Please comment below.

5 Ways to Keep Love Alive

Hi all, how has your week been? Unfortunately, my energy has totally been sapped away by a horrible cold, so I have had a week of sniffles, coughing and headaches.

But love is in the air because ladies and gentlemen it’s officially Valentine’s week and I am sure we are all so busy thinking about how to make our loved ones feel special.  (Valentine’s day can also be shared with friends and family you know?) And if you are single, so what?? Treat yourself! Take a day off. Book yourself into a spa. Go out to dinner, or order in! After all self-love is the best love!

But for those of us who will be spending it with a partner, how do you make sure that the love shared on the 14^th February is not just a fad? How do you keep the love burning way after Val’s day? Well, I am no relationship expert but I would love to share with you my five top tips on keeping love alive.

**DISCLAIMER ALERT** These tips are from my personal experiences, and they have worked for me. Also as I am not yet married, please do not take this as marital advice. See a counsellor instead.

1. Build and maintain a friendship

I know some people who have been fortunate to enough to have had a long term relationship or marriage to their childhood sweetheart or someone they have grown up with. This was not the case for Michael and I. We were basically two people who found each other attractive so it was imperative for us to go back and find the things we have in common; the things that make us both laugh; if we could easily make conversation; and if we could make fun of each other.  

2. Communicate with love

A lot of relationship gurus and manuals will tell you that communication is the key. But my question is what are you communicating? You could just as easily communicate anger, selfishness and jealousy, so make sure that when you speak to your partner you are doing it with love and honesty. Also make sure you are listening to your partner. 

I appreciate that not all speech will come out in heart shaped clouds, but even when you are having a disagreement you should really avoid spewing out hateful words solely to hurt your significant other. Remember once you let those words tumble out of your mouth, there is no taking them back! If your partner offends you, aim to resolve it quickly. Talk through the issue because brushing it under the carpet is tantamount to relationship suicide. It will only pop its ugly head out later. And ladies – once it’s resolved move on! Trust me, men find it very annoying when you keep bringing up old issues.

3. Put selfishness aside

I remember when my girlfriends and I were a little younger (and immature!) we used to talk a lot about what a man should do and should be to us: “he better have money” and "he has to have a six pack!”. First of all, these things are very superficial. But most importantly, there was never any talk about what we were going to bring the table. I believe a lot of relationships break down because of the “me” centred approach. Consider the feelings of your loved one. Be understanding of his or her weaknesses and be supportive.

4. Spend time with each other

They say absence make the heart grow fonder, however I think that too much distance for prolonged periods can do more harm than good. Also, if you are in love with someone why would you want to be away from them? I am not saying you should always be in their face because that’s just suffocation, but even being in the same room whilst doing separate things can be enough comfort. If you live far from each other or your relationship is long distance, set time aside for some ‘we’ time. 

5. Be intimate
This is going one step further than just being in the same space. And no, I am not just referring to sex either. I am talking about exploring the physical, emotional and spiritual connection you have with each other. This is where you can say a lot without the need to utter a word. This is where you “feel” each other without the need to touch. And if you do touch this is where it goes further than a purely physical connection.  

That’s it folks. I have limited it to five because I know I have the tendency to ramble on for ages. But this is by no means an exhaustive list. There are others such as DO NOT CHEAT!; not badmouthing your partner to friends and family; being romantic and surprising and wooing each other; and respecting each other’s personal space, BUT that will be for another time.
Whether you are in love or going it solo Michael and I are wishing you a HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

I hope I have helped you with these tips on keeping love alive year round. What do you think? Do you disagree with any of them? Or do you have any of your own?