Wednesday 24 February 2016

Study Time: Gratitude

Wow, it has been a hot minute since I spoke with you guys! I hope you are all doing well. I have been real busy!
The Belfry in St.Peters Square
Ghent, Belgium
One of the things I had the opportunity to do at work is visit Ghent in Belgium for three days. I attended the Flanders Belgium Travel Forum, which was the flagship event of the whole trip. It was for organised by the Visit Flanders Tourist Board and was another opportunity for key players in the travel industry to network and do business. Aside from the "work" part, I was blessed with the chance to tour the historical city of Ghent and to learn all about its history and culture.
The canal in the historical town
For someone who up until a couple of years was in a mundane job she wasn't exactly thrilled with,I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for how far I have come, and the opportunities that are now afforded me. This has inspired the theme of today's blog post. It's the latest installment of the Study Time series.

So, what is Gratitude? It is described as the quality of being thankful or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received.
The old Ghent prison
(You need to find out why it's called the Mammelokker. Hehe!)
For those of us who choose to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and the Bible, we ought to be grateful to God who we believe has blessed us with eternal life, life on earth and everything in it. 
Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, MSG)

Not convinced? In an April 2015 study of 186 men and women with heart damage, researchers rated the people’s levels of gratitude and spiritual well-being. They found that higher gratitude scores were linked to having a better mood, higher quality sleep and less inflammation (Time.com, Nov 2015)
You cannot go to Belgium and not try a Belgian beer!
With that said, can we please do a short study on why gratefulness is important, and the benefits of displaying an attitude of gratitude?

1. It takes the focus off of what you don't have.
All that I am ...praise [bless] the Lordeverything in me ...·praise [bless] his holy name. My whole being ...praise [bless] the Lord and do not forget all his kindnesses [gifts; benefits]. (Psalms 103: 1,2 EXV)

2. It attracts more kindness from others
Ruth fell at [Boaz's] feet and thanked him warmly. "What have I done to receive such kindness?"...At mealtime, Boaz called to her "come over here and help yourself to some food..." (Ruth 2: 10, 14a, NIV)


Dinner at the very prestigious Belga Queen
3. It grants you peace 
And when you pray, always give thanks... And God’s peace will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6b - 7a, ICB)

4. It grants you joy 
It is good to give thanks to the Lordto sing praises to your name...For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work;at the works of your hands I sing for joy. (Psalm 92: 1, 4 ESV)
Belgian hot chocolate, with whipped cream. Mmmm.....

There is a story in the Good Book (Luke 17:11-19) of ten men suffering from leprosy, which is a horrible, flesh eating disease. Even today, these men are known as the ten lepers. Even though all ten were healed by Jesus, only one made a point of saying "thank you" to him. Jesus, astonished that only one of the ten had the common decency to say thank you, said to the one man "Get up and go. Your faith has healed you" (v19) Only God knows the implications of that for the other nine!

This is an important lesson in being grateful. So, how do you show gratitude?

1. Saying "thank you" (well that's obvious!)
2. Choosing to focus on the good
3. Being satisfied with what you have
4. Being joyful (different to happiness, which is only determined by your current circumstances)
5. Getting out of the mindset that somehow the world owes you something
6. Giving back to others

Thank you Visit Flanders! Very grateful for the opportunity.
Whether you choose to take the 100 days of gratitude challenge, or simply make notes on everything you have to be grateful for, please do not forget that an attitude of gratitude will determine your altitude!

What are some of the ways in which you show gratitude, or have been shown gratitude? Please comment below.
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Tuesday 9 February 2016

5 Ways to Keep Love Alive

Hi all, how has your week been? Unfortunately, my energy has totally been sapped away by a horrible cold, so I have had a week of sniffles, coughing and headaches.

But love is in the air because ladies and gentlemen it’s officially Valentine’s week and I am sure we are all so busy thinking about how to make our loved ones feel special.  (Valentine’s day can also be shared with friends and family you know?) And if you are single, so what?? Treat yourself! Take a day off. Book yourself into a spa. Go out to dinner, or order in! After all self-love is the best love!

But for those of us who will be spending it with a partner, how do you make sure that the love shared on the 14th February is not just a fad? How do you keep the love burning way after Val’s day? Well, I am no relationship expert but I would love to share with you my five top tips on keeping love alive.

**DISCLAIMER ALERT** These tips are from my personal experiences, and they have worked for me. Also as I am not yet married, please do not take this as marital advice. See a counsellor instead.
1. Build and maintain a friendship
I know some people who have been fortunate to enough to have had a long term relationship or marriage to their childhood sweetheart or someone they have grown up with. This was not the case for Michael and I. We were basically two people who found each other attractive so it was imperative for us to go back and find the things we have in common; the things that make us both laugh; if we could easily make conversation; and if we could make fun of each other.  

2. Communicate with love
A lot of relationship gurus and manuals will tell you that communication is the key. But my question is what are you communicating? You could just as easily communicate anger, selfishness and jealousy, so make sure that when you speak to your partner you are doing it with love and honesty. Also make sure you are listening to your partner. 

I appreciate that not all speech will come out in heart shaped clouds, but even when you are having a disagreement you should really avoid spewing out hateful words solely to hurt your significant other. Remember once you let those words tumble out of your mouth, there is no taking them back! If your partner offends you, aim to resolve it quickly. Talk through the issue because brushing it under the carpet is tantamount to relationship suicide. It will only pop its ugly head out later. And ladies – once it’s resolved move on! Trust me, men find it very annoying when you keep bringing up old issues.

3. Put selfishness aside
I remember when my girlfriends and I were a little younger (and immature!) we used to talk a lot about what a man should do and should be to us: “he better have money” and "he has to have a six pack!”. First of all, these things are very superficial. But most importantly, there was never any talk about what we were going to bring the table. I believe a lot of relationships break down because of the “me” centred approach. Consider the feelings of your loved one. Be understanding of his or her weaknesses and be supportive.
4. Spend time with each other
They say absence make the heart grow fonder, however I think that too much distance for prolonged periods can do more harm than good. Also, if you are in love with someone why would you want to be away from them? I am not saying you should always be in their face because that’s just suffocation, but even being in the same room whilst doing separate things can be enough comfort. If you live far from each other or your relationship is long distance, set time aside for some ‘we’ time. 

5. Be intimate
This is going one step further than just being in the same space. And no, I am not just referring to sex either. I am talking about exploring the physical, emotional and spiritual connection you have with each other. This is where you can say a lot without the need to utter a word. This is where you “feel” each other without the need to touch. And if you do touch this is where it goes further than a purely physical connection.  

That’s it folks. I have limited it to five because I know I have the tendency to ramble on for ages. But this is by no means an exhaustive list. There are others such as DO NOT CHEAT!; not badmouthing your partner to friends and family; being romantic and surprising and wooing each other; and respecting each other’s personal space, BUT that will be for another time.
Whether you are in love or going it solo Michael and I are wishing you a 
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
I hope I have helped you with these tips on keeping love alive year round. What do you think? Do you disagree with any of them? Or do you have any of your own?


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