Tuesday, 9 February 2016

5 Ways to Keep Love Alive

Hi all, how has your week been? Unfortunately, my energy has totally been sapped away by a horrible cold, so I have had a week of sniffles, coughing and headaches.

But love is in the air because ladies and gentlemen it’s officially Valentine’s week and I am sure we are all so busy thinking about how to make our loved ones feel special.  (Valentine’s day can also be shared with friends and family you know?) And if you are single, so what?? Treat yourself! Take a day off. Book yourself into a spa. Go out to dinner, or order in! After all self-love is the best love!

But for those of us who will be spending it with a partner, how do you make sure that the love shared on the 14th February is not just a fad? How do you keep the love burning way after Val’s day? Well, I am no relationship expert but I would love to share with you my five top tips on keeping love alive.

**DISCLAIMER ALERT** These tips are from my personal experiences, and they have worked for me. Also as I am not yet married, please do not take this as marital advice. See a counsellor instead.
1. Build and maintain a friendship
I know some people who have been fortunate to enough to have had a long term relationship or marriage to their childhood sweetheart or someone they have grown up with. This was not the case for Michael and I. We were basically two people who found each other attractive so it was imperative for us to go back and find the things we have in common; the things that make us both laugh; if we could easily make conversation; and if we could make fun of each other.  

2. Communicate with love
A lot of relationship gurus and manuals will tell you that communication is the key. But my question is what are you communicating? You could just as easily communicate anger, selfishness and jealousy, so make sure that when you speak to your partner you are doing it with love and honesty. Also make sure you are listening to your partner. 

I appreciate that not all speech will come out in heart shaped clouds, but even when you are having a disagreement you should really avoid spewing out hateful words solely to hurt your significant other. Remember once you let those words tumble out of your mouth, there is no taking them back! If your partner offends you, aim to resolve it quickly. Talk through the issue because brushing it under the carpet is tantamount to relationship suicide. It will only pop its ugly head out later. And ladies – once it’s resolved move on! Trust me, men find it very annoying when you keep bringing up old issues.

3. Put selfishness aside
I remember when my girlfriends and I were a little younger (and immature!) we used to talk a lot about what a man should do and should be to us: “he better have money” and "he has to have a six pack!”. First of all, these things are very superficial. But most importantly, there was never any talk about what we were going to bring the table. I believe a lot of relationships break down because of the “me” centred approach. Consider the feelings of your loved one. Be understanding of his or her weaknesses and be supportive.
4. Spend time with each other
They say absence make the heart grow fonder, however I think that too much distance for prolonged periods can do more harm than good. Also, if you are in love with someone why would you want to be away from them? I am not saying you should always be in their face because that’s just suffocation, but even being in the same room whilst doing separate things can be enough comfort. If you live far from each other or your relationship is long distance, set time aside for some ‘we’ time. 

5. Be intimate
This is going one step further than just being in the same space. And no, I am not just referring to sex either. I am talking about exploring the physical, emotional and spiritual connection you have with each other. This is where you can say a lot without the need to utter a word. This is where you “feel” each other without the need to touch. And if you do touch this is where it goes further than a purely physical connection.  

That’s it folks. I have limited it to five because I know I have the tendency to ramble on for ages. But this is by no means an exhaustive list. There are others such as DO NOT CHEAT!; not badmouthing your partner to friends and family; being romantic and surprising and wooing each other; and respecting each other’s personal space, BUT that will be for another time.
Whether you are in love or going it solo Michael and I are wishing you a 
I hope I have helped you with these tips on keeping love alive year round. What do you think? Do you disagree with any of them? Or do you have any of your own?



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  2. All of these tips are so true, particularly putting selfishness aside is so important - love runs far deeper than appearances or finances!

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice

    1. Thank you Gabrielle. It takes real maturity to grasp what love means

  3. These are definitely some great advice and I do agree. Its not easy though. Love is beautiful, but can be frustrating. Ha!! May God help us do what is right and find partners who are willing to travel a sincere love journey with us. Great post, Made!
    Much love to y'all.


    1. Hi Missy. May thanks. I totally agree that it's not easy. The fact that the bibles tells us that love is patient, means that situations will arise that will call for patience. Relationships are not child's play, but can be good when done right. May God grant us all right partners for us.

  4. Great tips my dear! Hope you had a great vals day!

    1. Thank you Diana. I did thank you. I trust you did too :-)


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