Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Finding Perfect in Your Imperfections

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous
Psalm 139:14 , NLT

This is a continuation of my last post: It's OK to not be OK. If you have not already read it please do so here.

In the image above is what I would probably refer to as the most physically imperfect part of me. OK, to be real about it, I totally hate it! It bulges out rather than lie flat, and it has received totally unearned, and unwarranted stripes all over it. I hate to think the number of stretchmarks it will have after children. Yet I have decided to subject the whole world to it in order to prove a point. 

As you know by now, the one thing that most of us do is to equate perfection with looking like the models we see on TV or the magazines. We tend to think our lives are substandard if we don't get the grades we want, or have the dream job, or the perfect partner (or any partner at all for that matter!). 

I know that a lot of us have hang up about different aspects of our lives, or that we feel are some how lacking whilst we haven't yet achieved our dreams. You should never stop working towards your goals. Always stay loyal to your craft.  But whilst you are doing that here are my top tips in finding perfect in our imperfections:

1.Find your talent and share it with the world. I used to be envious of people who could sing. I always used to say to myself "if only I could sing". However by focusing on what I couldn't do I was making myself feel inadequate. This was until I started focusing on what I could do. Don't even convince yourself that you are not good at anything.  Because everyone has a talent! You might be a great public speaker.  Or good at solving complex equations,  in which case you can teach. Seeing others become blessed by your gift will lift you.

2. I was watching one of my favorite You Tubers not too long ago, and something she said resonated with me. That you should see your body as an extension of your soul. She used her fat arms, which she had always hated, as an example, pointing out that she no longer saw them as fat and ugly, but as big enough to give others good hugs, and in so doing offering comfort.What are the things about you that you hate, be it your physical attributes or otherwise? Do you feel your shoulders are to broad and unfeminine? Reconsider that the next time a friend needs a shoulder to cry on. 

3.Work with what you got.  Don't spend unnecessary money trying to keep up with the Jonses. The fact that most of my Friends have cars, and keep trying to convince me that I need one too doesn't mean I will just go out and get one. Competing with others will only make you financially and emotionally poor.

4.Embrace change and be flexible. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have placed all my hope, my energy, and my future plans on a job application only to be left disappointed. When these things happen you need to go back to the drawing board. There is no such thing as a dead end. Only bends and turns in the road...unless you refuse to turn, then that will be the end of the road for you. 

5. Be grateful for the present moment. You can practice this by simply saying out loud "Thank you God for my home etc". Gratitude will help you to be more positive. It will also place you in a position to receive more.

6.Get in the habit of giving to others, despite how horrible you think your life is, offer your time, your energy or your money to serving others. Your confidence will be boosted when you see the positive impact you are having on people. For example, I sometimes go through periods of exhaustion and total burnout until a member of my youth group tells me how a particular lesson has impacted their life. 

7. Look for windows of opportunities in the life you are living right now. For example, from 2010 to 2014 I was working shifts, and hated the fact that I was working at crazy hours. However, my job also offered a lot of free time, and the freedom of not being committed to a 9-5 meant I had the opportunity to do my masters. 

From the same vantage point, just shift your focus
8. Get used to the person you see in the mirror sans hair extensions, make up, shape wear, and even clothes. Get to know her. Smile at her. Wave at her. Talk to her.  Get used to her (or him). Let her (or him) become your friend. You are stuck with her (or him) for life.
9. This might be a slight contradiction to my previous point, but when you are not standing in front of the mirror naked, dress to impress. wear clothes that make you feel confident. Ensure you are well groomed. It will always boost your confidence. Others will also take you more seriously. 

10. Realise that no one's life is perfect. My life may look fabulous, but you have no idea of what else comes with the package. 


1 comment

  1. Great stuff Madaline, couldn't agree with you more. Good tips.
    Thank you.


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