Thursday, 13 August 2015

Advice to A-level Students. I have Walked the Walk Before.

I have decided to interrupt my series on Love, with a post that I feel urgently requires my attention, especially on a day like today. The primary focus of today’s entry is to encourage and motivate students out there receiving their A-level results.  By the time this is posted, you probably would have already opened that brown envelope, and will probably have some idea about your next step in life.

Graduation day was six years ago!
Congratulations to you if you achieved the grades you were expecting. Unless you are the biggest cheater going, or the luckiest person on earth my guess is that you worked hard for those grades and deserve them. But, I have told my youth group that whether they achieved the grades they wanted or not they are to be proud of themselves, and I do want to spend a little time speaking to you if you didn't achieve the grades that you needed to get into university.  

Firstly, know that there is a purpose for your life no matter what. If the Nokia 3310 phone case has a purpose on this earth, then trust me,  a living breathing human being, complete with a body, spirit and soul has also been put on here for a reason.  You may just require a little bit of rerouting and extra thought to discover what that reason is.

Also, trust me as someone who has ran the race, A-levels will be the most difficult academic assessment you will ever undergo.

It beggars belief that it was a good ten years ago since I stood at the A-level/university threshold myself. It was a very scary and exciting day I remember. I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I did fortunately get into the university of my choice.

This mainly applies to my UK readers, but if you are reading from elsewhere I hope this shows you that there is more than one route to success.

If you feel despondent because of what that important piece of paper says,  consider the following. Even if things did go your way please still read on.

1.       The most obvious is to see if you can find a course through the UCAS clearing application process. I know it’s a very stressful process to go through as it involves a period of uncertainty. However, click on this link: https://www.ucas.com/ucas/undergraduate/apply-and-track/results/no-offers-use-clearing, and reclaim some control. Use the clearing tool to look for the course you would like to study first and see what universities are offering that course. From there, there should be info on how to apply. Please also read all the advice on the clearing pages as it will help you to make an informed decision. Clearing is by no means equivalent to failure so please do not beat yourself up if you are going through this process. 

2.       This year, the cap has been lifted on the number of students universities can take on, so why not just try taking a shot at calling your preferred university’s admissions hotline and speaking to someone. You just never know, there may be a place for you!

3.    You can take on an apprenticeship, and learn a trade or a skill. I have known people to do an apprenticeship with a company they love, or in a field they are interested in, who have gone on to be very successful people in life. The best place I can refer you to is the government’s Apprentice web page.https://www.gov.uk/topic/further-education-skills/apprenticeships

In the end, it will all work out. You'll see!
4.       If you have African parents, they will probably hate me for saying this but university is not the way, the truth and the life. It is certainly one of the ways though! I used to be so against gap years, as I saw it as time wasting. However, if your exam results have been less than overwhelming, and you have lost your bearings, rushing into a course, just because you feel you have to, is the worst thing you could do. Why not take some time to think about it?

a)      You could find a part time and earn some money? At this stage you probably don't have enough work experience to make your big career move, however you could gain some. You will learn a lot of life skills such as organisation, money management, teamwork, and problem solving. It’s also a good way to socialise and keep your brains busy. In addition you will be able to save some £££s, and still have time to help your parents around the house.

b)      If, and only if you can afford it why don't you do some voluntary work, or take on an internship? It’s one of my personal gripes that interns are not paid by stingy employers, however you will reap all the benefits of a part time job (minus the money), and you never know, it can actually fast track you in the career path you wish to take. Also, maybe, just maybe your employer may eventually pay for you to study. My experience and frustrations of job hunting in the past stems from the fact that nowadays, employers place more value on work experience. Useful websites to visit are:


c)      Again, if you can afford it and have a taste for adventure, why not do some travelling, and explore the world? Honestly, I wish I could have done this, but at that age I couldn’t afford to travel, and honestly, I was too sacred to! Ha! I feel doing this will open up your mind and expand your knowledge of different cultures (always useful in today’s global age). It will also instil in you the confidence you will need to live your adult life. You will be able to find some useful info here:


I will end it here, but I want to finish by reminding you of what I said earlier. There is a purpose for you here on earth. Just keep working, planning, thinking and rethinking. But whatever you do never give up. Always follow your passion and never sell yourself short. By this I mean, if you want to write, then write. Send articles to newsrooms. Start a blog. Write a book. Just pursue!

If you want to sew, then sew. By a sewing machine. Make things for your friends. Showcase your goods at small trade fairs.  I’m sure you catch my drift. Juts make sure you are following YOUR passion, and I promise you something that started off small will open doors for you.

I hope I have helped you a bit, but if you still feel unsure and would like to talk, please just send me an email at souljournersstory@gmail.com. I’d be more than happy to chat with you.




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Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Study Time: Love (Part 2)

"And the second command is like the first: ‘Love your neighbour the same as you love yourself." (Matt 22:39, ERV)


Hi all.

The weekend was a largely family orientated one for me, which I loved! Saturday was spent with my sisters at Ghana Party in the Park, in North London. Lunches and blankets were packed and off we went! GPITP is what I can only describe as London’s biggest consumption of Ghanaian culture in one place, at the same time. It is held in a large green in Cockfosters, North London (forgotten the name of the park, lol!). It’s an outdoor event seasoned with musical performances on two main stages,  the sale of Ghanaian food and cultural artefacts, and entertainment for the children. Sunday morning was spent at church, and the afternoon was spent visiting Mr’s auntie, who is visiting London for a month.  


My sisters are all very camera shy!
(Actually, they just don't want to be featured on this blog!)

There is something about spending your weekends with family (especially if you do not see them regularly) which colours the two days with joy, relaxation and contentment. This was compounded by the lovely summer weather. This brings us to today’s blog post. We will continue our theme of love, focusing on love shared between family and friends. Please get your notebooks and bibles ready as we start Study Time: Love (part 2). Please check the last Study Time, for the meaning of love. 

First here comes the disclaimers:


Disclaimer 1:  Study Time will be purely devoted to Biblical teachings. My other blog posts will be general motivational material. 

Disclaimer 2: Please remember that the original intended audience of my lessons are young people, so please excuse me if Study Time appears to be too basic for you. (Remember, I teach young people!)

Key Bible Verses
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Genesis 4: 8-11
Matthew 22:39
Matthew 26:14-16
Mark 14:10-11
Luke 22:3-6

Storge Is described as an affectionate love shared between family members, or spouses. It is seen to be the most natural kind of love, the type of love us humans are most capable of.
Think about it, no matter how much your younger bro might annoy you, or your big sis may boss you about, in the long run you are unlikely to cut them off (fights aside). No matter how much you sass mum or roll your eyes at dad they will continue to provide a roof over your head and food in your stomach. As much you might feel ignored by your son or daughter,
one SOS call from them will most probably have you running to their aid.

En route to visit Auntie!
Examples of storge love in the Scriptures are of Abraham and Isaac; Mary, Martha and Lazarus; Mary and Elizabeth; and Jacob and Joseph.

I am by no means saying we always get it right, as we are not always patient or kind. We are also sometimes boastful, proud and easily angered, as we will see in the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:1-16)

Cain and Abel
To sum up the story in a few lines, Cain And Abel were brothers, sons of Adam and Eve, the first ever humans. Cain was a farmer  and Abel was a shepherd. The Scriptures tells us that in the course of time, they both offered a share of their yield. Cain offered a portion of his produce, whilst Abel offered the very best lamb of his flock. God was happy with Abel’s sacrifice but not too fussed about Cain’s. Because of this Cain became angry. So one day, he attacked brother really hard and killed him. His punishment was banishment from the land they were in. He was cursed with being a homeless wanderer. But interestingly enough God did not kill him.

The story of Cain and Abel is an illustration of where love should have been practised but failed. Whilst teaching this to my youth group I decided to use this example, because I wanted to show them that the Bible is not full of perfect people doing as they told. I feel it is important to  stress this point if we are to have any hope of making the Bible relatable. It also serves as a warning to the dangerous consequences of some poor choices, and as encouragement to God’s kindness when we miss the mark.

Lessons Learnt
1.The Bible doesn't really spell out why God did not accept Cain's sacrifice. However, it does stress that when the brothers presented their wares before God, that Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. (v4, NIV)  So it could be because Cain's offering wasn't his best.Meaning it might not have been the freshest of his crops. Or his attitude wasn't right. This is highly likely because for his anger to have been roused that much probably meant his heart was not in the right place to begin with. This is a lesson that whatever we decide to offer to God, be it our time, energy or money, He should get the best, and you should give it with a cheerful heart. 


Always offer your best.
Packed lunch anyone?

2. This is loosely linked with my first point, but I'd like to stress on it again.  Practice love all the times, as your envy or hatred will be exposed eventually. How many times have you blurted something out that you shouldn't have, or done something impulsively. Chances are it didn't just happen. Luke 6: 45 tells us "of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks". I believe it was stored up hatred, which had been brewing since the day of offering that led Cain to do what he did. All he needed was a trigger. So young ladies and gentlemen pay attention to the condition of your heart! 
"And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6b, NKJV)

3. You are your brother's keeper! It's our job to look out for each other. Cain responded "Am I my brother's keeper?" (v9, NKJV) when God asked him of Abel's whereabouts. That was a display arrogance, and nonchalance towards his duty of care towards his brother. Would God have cursed Cain, had he shown some remorse? I don't know, but what I do know is that Cain's curse came after that exchange.
"So now you are cursed from the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield its strength to you. A fugitive and a vagabond you shall be on the earth.” (Genesis 4:11-12, NKJV)


A purchase from GPITP.
Sadly my sisters think it's a complete waste of money!
4.   God is watching the way you treat people. After Cain attacked his brother, God asked him "Where is your brother Abel?" (v9, NKJV). My guess is that God already knew what had happened. But he was doing that thing that parents do when they ask obvious questions, just before they go absolutely mental at you! What is most remarkable is this: The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground (v10, NKJV). The revelation here is that God's attention is called to the way we treat others, whether good or bad!

5.    As I said before, I find it remarkable that even in the Old Testament, God did not kill Cain. Although he was cursed, his life was spared! However, young men and women, I would like for you to make a note of this, Cain left the presence of God and lived in No-Man’s-Land (v 16, MSG). Beware guys, the way we treat our loved ones can drive away God's presence, and also drive them away leaving us isolated!

Are you treating your relatives with love? 

Remember you can pick your friends, but not your family, and God has put you with your family members for a reason. I know some family members are painful to be around and it’s OK to love them from a distance. You may not feel the affectionate storge kind of love for them, but you must love them nonetheless (we will look at what kind of love we should have for these painful people next time). However the important thing is not to not flout the maxims of Love, like Cain did. 

Let’s move on…

Phileo is a Greek term, found in the original scriptures which describes brotherly, affectionate love exhibited between friends. Biblical examples are portrayed in the closeness between David and Jonathan (an excellent example found in 1 Samuel 18 - 20);
Jesus and his disciples; and the fellowship of believers in the early church (Acts 2:44) 


With my bestie!
Unfortunately, Mr is also camera shy!


Judas Iscariot and Jesus

Again, when teaching this to my class I decided to focus on a Biblical example of people failing in their demonstration  of love. I enjoyed doing this, because I felt it helped them in identifying unhealthy relationships in their lives!

Here is a story we mainly focus on at Easter time, but I think it teaches a good lesson on what phileo is (and most importantly is not!)

The story here is simple, Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus' chosen disciples, betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. This led to Jesus's arrest and crucifixion. The act of betrayal was a kiss. The story of the betrayal is recounted in each of the four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and between them all you will get the full picture.

Lessons Learnt
1. Love is not self seeking (1 Cor 13: 5). Maybe Judas missed the memo. It is difficult to understand the reasons that underpinned Judas's actions. But what we are able to ascertain is that he was the treasurer to the group of disciples.  He was the one who kept the money bag for the group of followers. And he often stole money from the bag. (John 12:6, ERV). So we see he was a very greedy man, and this greed put him in the position where he would eventually compromise his integrity, his friendship and ultimately his life! Ladies and gents, be careful about greed because if not nipped in the bud, can put the love we should have for our friends at a compromising position.

2. Not everyone in your friendship circle phileos you. Note that Jesus picked Judas Iscariot to be one of his disciples (Matthew 10:4) In this case, Judas was in Jesus's closest circle of friends in order to fulfil God's plan. However the lesson we can draw from this is that not everybody that calls you friend necessarily loves or even likes you. 
“But here at this table, sitting among us as a friend, is the man who will betray me". (Luke 22:21) In my opinion it's safer to keep your circle very small, as it eliminates the likelihood of having false friends. This is something that will com with age. Asking God to  sift our friends is also a very useful thing to do (albeit painful!) 
On the flip side, please also ensure you are not that fake friend, showing fake phileo!


3. Sometimes when we say or do things to hurt our friends, our actions or words cannot be undone! 
When Judas, who had betrayed him, realized that Jesus had been condemned to die, he was filled with remorse. So he took the thirty pieces of silver back to the leading priests and the elders.  “I have sinned,” he declared, “for I have betrayed an innocent man.”
“What do we care?” they retorted. “That’s your problem.”
Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the Temple and went out and hanged himself. (Matthew 27:3-5)
Please, please be determined to treat your friends with love ALL the time. A simple action or word can set a chain of events in motion that can lead to destruction!

Has anyone been to Cockfosters before?
I hope you have enjoyed this installment of Study Time, and have learnt something new today. Our friends and family members play a big part in shaping who we are. And learning to display love to them at all times will not only develop us as people, and pleases God, but also nurtures and edifies them.  

If you have any questions on the material I have shared please drop me an email at souljournersstory@gmail.com, or post your comment below!
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Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Study Time: Love (Part 1)


Hello all!

My last post was supposed to be a Study Time post. However, my notebook went wandering around and ended up entangled in all the evangelistic paraphernalia in the back of my church's store room. So I made a little amendment to my blogging agenda and decided to treat you all to a post on the definition of a SoulJourner.  Today, I bring you the second installment of Study Time.

Before I start properly, here come the disclaimers again: 



Disclaimer 1:  Study Time will be purely devoted to Biblical teachings. My other blog posts will be general motivational material. 

Disclaimer 2: Please remember that the original intended audience of my lessons are young people, so please excuse me if Study Time appears to be too basic for you.


My small offering today is a lesson in Love, and is a continuation from the last Study Time. I have decided to divide this into three parts, just because love is a much broader subject than most of you might think! 
Remember the last Study Time about loving yourself?

Key Bible Verses:
1 Corinthians 13
Ruth 4:10

What is love?
Dictionary definition: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection as for a parent, child or friend.
(www.dictionary.com)

Biblical definition: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude... It is not irritable...
(1 Corinthians 13: 4 and 5, NLT)

Please note. It is much more than a feeling! It is a decision that is displayed through actions. Emotions, both good and bad just come with the package!


Get your Bibles and notebooks out. It's time to study!


Eros
Eros is an ancient Greek word which appeared in the original biblical texts and describes the romantic and passionate love that is shared between husband and wife, or boyfriend and girlfriend. 

From eros, derives the English words erotic and erotica. Unfortunately, modern English does not have wide lexicon to attribute a specific word to this kind of love. So along with brotherly love, love shared between friends, and the kind of unconditional love God bestows upon us, we simply refer to it as 'love'. 

Biblical examples of eros is depicted in the relationship between Rachel and Jacob, Ruth and Boaz, and King Solomon and the Jewish maiden in the Songs of Solomon.

Young ladies and gentlemen, please be weary of the portrayals of this kind of love you see in Disney, Hollywood and the music videos. It's more than happily ever after and not as simple as throwing in the towel when things take a turn for the worst. Remember it's also a lot of hard work, renouncing selfishness for selflessness and a lot of communication.

Young men, remember love is not rude, or self seeking (1 Corinth 13: 5 a)Young ladies, remember that love keeps no records of wrongs (1 Corinth 13: b). Trust me, I know what I am talking about!

For the sake of simplicity let's focus on the story of Ruth and Boaz. Please do take time to read the book of Ruth, but to make things easier for you, I will attempt to summarise the story in a paragraph.



Please open your Bibles to the book of Ruth


The story starts with Naomi, a Hebrew widow in the country of Moab who had two sons, Mahlon and Kilion. The two sons both had wives, Orpah and Ruth. In a terrible tragedy and a cruel twist of fate, Naomi's two sons also died, leaving her husbandless and childless!  So Naomi instructs her two daughters in law to go back to their people as she has nothing more to offer them. Orpah leaves, but Ruth stays. 
Ruth and Naomi travel to back Bethlehem, Naomi's hometown, as news reaches them that God had blessed the land with good crops (they had left Bethlehem around ten years prior due to a famine)  . 
Enter Boaz, a wealthy land owner from Bethlehem, and a relative of Naomi's late husband, Elimelech. Ruth is discovered by Boaz gathering grain on the edge of one of his fields, and after a couple more encounters, a cunning plan by Naomi and a bit of patience, Boaz eventually marries Ruth. Not only that, he also buys back Elimelech's property that Naomi was due to sell off, hence keeping it all in the family. Oh what a man!

This is a very short summary, and does not include all of the details so please do take out some time to study it, as the story has a lot more dimensions and much more to learn than the central theme that we are focusing on. 

Lessons Learnt
1. Remember Rihanna's song lyrics "we found love in a hopeless place" ? Well this this is exactly what happens in this story, where God used famine, death and poverty as the backdrop to this lovely story. I think this is a good time to remind ourselves that God can make a lovely story out of a pretty bad situation.
Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband. (Ruth 1: 3-4, NIV)
 “Don't call me Naomi*,” she told them. “Call me Mara**, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. (Ruth 1:20, NIV)



2. When it comes to family,although blood is significant, it is not exclusive in binding people in brotherly, sisterly, motherly and fatherly love. (We shall look at this kind of love in the next Study Time) This is shown in the example of Ruth and Naomi's relationship, a Hebrew and a Moabitess. Ruth was so loyal to the one person that recent times have told us should be her number one nightmare!  True love, in all sense, transcends cultural barriers.
But Ruth replied, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17, NIV)

3. Young ladies, please take note. Did Boaz marry Ruth because of her full bodied Brazilian hair? Did the scriptures make mention of her massive backside? Or her cinched waist? Me thinks not. 
Young men, please do not get carried away by her ASSets! Get to know the strength of her character. Pay attention to her  demeanor. (A good point of reference is Proverbs 31:10-31)

A) Ruth was hardworking, and prepared to work in the field in order for her and her mother-in-law to be able to eat.
 And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.” (Ruth 2:2, NIV)

B) She was humble throughout, yet still had a bit of steel to go along with Naomi's plan. She was no fickle character!
 Wash, put on perfume, and get dressed in your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.” (Ruth 3:3-4)

(I do hope to cover the biblical significance of ministering to someone's feet in a later post!)






4. There is a joke that runs in church circles, and goes "whilst waiting on your Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives: Brokeaz, Po-az, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, & especially his 3rd cousin Beat-yo-az". Please wait on ur Boaz & make sure he respects yoaz!
Please note that Ruth was patient: ...she continued working with them through the wheat harvest in early summer... then one day...and the story continues. 

5. Young ladies take note:
A) Boaz was family orientated, and this, I believe, is what moved him to act to keep the family property in the family (and also the fact that he had his eye on Ruth!). 
 Then Boaz announced to the elders and all the people, “Today you are witnesses that I have bought from Naomi all the property of Elimelek, Kilion and Mahlon.  I have also acquired Ruth the Moabite, Mahlon’s widow, as my wife, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property, so that his name will not disappear from among his family or from his hometown. Today you are witnesses!” (Ruth 4:9,10)
Also note, young men, Boaz was wealthy enough to be able to acquire all that property!  I am not saying that money is the underlying key to being a good husband or partner, but having ambition most definitely is.

B) He was also sensitive, not only in the way he treated Ruth, but in the way he treated others. Young ladies. Watch and take note!
Just then Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters,“The Lord be with you!
“The Lord bless you!” they answered. (Ruth 2:4)

6. Last but not least, and the biggest revelation of all is that by getting married to Boaz, Ruth was brought into the ancestry of Jesus Christ. Thus, as followers of Christ, the person we fall in love with should bring us close to God!

This post is getting long now, so I will stop here. If you are still reading, thank you for sticking with me. I hope you are blessed by this post, and have learnt a thing or two. There is so much more depth to this story than meets the eye so please do send an email to souljournersstory@gmail.com if you have further questions.

I hope to continue to theme of Love in my next Study Time posts.

Ciao!

*Naomi means pleasant
**Mara means bitter
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Thursday, 2 July 2015

What is a SoulJourner?

This post was supposed to be another Study Time, but I have misplaced my notebook with all my bible study notes. Yikes! I really do feel like a fisherman out at sea, with no hooks, no rod and no reel.*


Ready to write my second Study Time, but alas! No notebook :-(
I assure you that this alternative blog post isn't of lesser value, or some consolation prize. It has simply jumped the queue in the line of upcoming posts.My busy schedule is still not letting up. I have been planning a big event with my youth group (details will soon be posted on here). I am also still settling into my new job. Besides, London has recently succumbed to glorious sunshine and sweltering heat, which has made me quite lethargic, so I must admit this post has taken me the best part of four days to complete. But alas! Here it comes. 


Still settling in at work!

What is a Soulourner? 

This is Madeline's official definition:

SoulJourner
[sohl-jurn-er] noun
1. A person who profits from his or her temporary stay on earth. He or she is not afraid to feel deeply, be it happy, sad, angry or excited. He or she may occasionally or frequently make mistakes,  nonetheless, he or she lives life to the fullest, maximising every opportunity, and loving wholey.

This word cannot be found in any dictionary (yet!), however when I thought of it, I figured it would suit this blog well. 


Selecting a name for this blog was not that difficult at all. Infact I did it without much self deliberation.My mind and my heart  set themselves firmly on the name SoulJourner's Story quite early on in the decision making process and they just wouldn't let go. I had just finished my Masters and was at a point of frustration because I so desperately wanted to move on in my career. I had been at the same position since 2010, and in fact there was a time when the job did serve me well. But three years and a masters degree later I thought I was owed some kind of promotion. I had been single for longer than I thought was acceptable, and I so wanted to move into my own place. 

I was moaning to a friend about how much indebted the universe was to me. Bless her, she did listen for a while, but then she said something along the lines of "imagine how boring life would be if we acquired everything we wanted very quickly, achieved every goal instantly, fulfilled all our dreams at a moment’s notice. Madeline, there would be nothing to work for. Nothing to motivate us each morning!".




She is right. Our stay here on earth is a temporary sojourn, a spec of time in eternity, a drop in the large ocean of chronology, and we should make the most of it, and of what we have at present. Each footprint we leave on earth should matter, and if we woke up each morning with nothing to motivate us, our stay here would be a very dull one. The felicity and frustrations of life are all what make this life both daunting and exciting, and makes those of us who enjoy the ride SoulJourners. 

So there you have it - that is a SoulJourner, and that is how I attributed the term to this blog.

*Since beginning this post, it has turned out I left my note book in church, and it has since been found. Thank God!



Happy because I found my notebook!

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