Money Talk: Lessons Learnt

Last weekend was quite a frustrating one for me. On Friday I was en route to a young professionals networking event when one of the most horrific occurrences that could ever happen to any modern day human being befell me. My phone dropped on the cold hard concrete floor of Kings Cross St. Pancras Station! I immediately did an about turn and headed straight back home. I was so upset. I was even more upset when I learnt that I would have to fork out £130 to fix the blacked out LED screen. 

I also almost didn't  go to a wedding I was invited to on Saturday, but I decided better at the last minute.  I did make up for my miserable weekend by accepting an invitation to the World Travel Market - the go to event for anyone and everyone in the travel and tourism industry. In hindsight, my actions went against everything I shout about being on top of  your emotions. However the impromptu knock to my finances has inspired me to use this week's installment to speak about finances.

I have made many mistakes in my twenties, however I have also learnt a lot, and I would love to share.  This is the first time I am sharing info about myself I can actually say I am still a little embarrassed about, but I am hoping I can save someone the pain and hassle of what I have been through. In my early twenties, it wasn't that bad. I wasn't exactly living large and loud, but I was often very careless, and this was with little consequence as I was still living with my parents. But at aged 26 when I moved into my own flat I was very quickly made to face up to my financial escapades.

Here goes: 4 lessons learnt.

1. There is a concept in the business world referred to as due diligence which describes the process of verifying a person or a business before signing a contract. Personal example. At age 24 I bought my first car, a silver Fiat Punto. When I say buy, I actually meant I handed someone £2,500 and asked him to bring me back a car. I wasn't present when money and keys exchanged hands, and was thus unable to check out the buyer myself and ask all the questions I needed.  This resulted in thousands of pounds in repairs and hours spent on the curb waiting for roadside recovery. Before I continue, I must stress that it was not the fault of the gentleman I gave the money to, as I believe he made the purchase with the best intentions. I would also still insist upon taking someone with a bit of knowledge with you when purchasing something like a car.

Wedding time! One criticism is that I never post photos of myself here. So here goes! 

2. Quit whilst you are ahead. Referring back to my crackajack car, I should have cut my losses and ridded myself of it once it started to persistently break down. But as if pouring money into a bucket with a large gaping hole, I continued to spend hundreds on the vehicle almost every month. Once I had finally had enough, I decided to sell it to We Buy Any Car. Guess What? I discovered I had been driving a write off! 

3. I  can totally understand the skepticism that ensues when a company tries to get you to buy insurance for every small purchase. And I do think you should weigh whether it's really worth taking out £20 insurance on a £20 iron for example. BUT I would always advise you take out insurance on high risk items and services, ie. purchases that would cost you a fortune if something goes wrong. Example. Last summer I decided to hire a car (yes, it always involves a car!) for roughly £200 and decided to pass on the £60 insurance as "I am a careful driver". £60 soon turned to £1000 after accidentally reversing into a wall! Lesson learnt. 

Africa time! At the World Travel Market

4. It is good practice to have an emergency fund. So although you may have a pot for your future car or house or anything else you are saving for, you also have another for when the unexpected happens. My broken phone is a case in point example. Having said this I totally understand the struggle, so if this can't be done monthly, you could put money aside for emergencies every other month, or take out a portion from your regular savings.

I hope these tips help you. They are all my own from my personal experiences and I am not a qualified financial advisor. If you are in serious financial trouble or would just fancy some advice from a professional, you should consult the likes of Money Saving Expert or The Money Advice Service. 

What are some of your tips? Share below.

Study Time: Love (Part 3)

Finally I conclude my three part series on the topic of Love. I bring to you, a short lesson on agape love. Grab your notebooks and Bibles because I really want this lesson to linger in your conscience, and not just evaporate into thin air after you've read it. 

Bibles and notebooks ready please

This post couldn't be more timely, given I have spent days in the last week, in the city of Love. That's right, I have been in Paris. Sadly, there were no romantic dinners in the Eiffel Tower, or evening strolls along the river Seine. My trips have been strictly of the professional kind, sheepishly shuffling along behind clients whist they gawp at the classical offerings this city has to offer.  

The Sacre Coeur against the beautiful backdrop of the blue sky

Here come my disclaimers:

Disclaimer 1:  Study Time will be purely devoted to Biblical teachings. My other blog posts will be general motivational material.
Disclaimer 2: Please remember that the original intended audience of my lessons are young people, so please excuse me if Study Time appears to be too basic for you. (Remember, I teach young people!)

Key Bible Verses
1 John 4:20                                1 John 4:19                              1 John 5:2-3
John 3:16                                   1 John 4:7 - 8                           Mark 12.30-31

Definition
Agape in the new original text is translated to 'Love' and it describes perfect, unconditional love that  God is capable of demonstrating to his children so perfectly.

Lovely fresh fruits served at the Sofitel Hotel. Prepared with love of course!

It is hardly surprising then, that as we are made in God's image, God expects us to demonstrate this love that is so pure and authentic to Him and to others. (Mark 12: 30-31)
Aside from God's mercy that he shows us everyday, and the benefits that he daily loads into our lives, His ultimate portrayal of love was the sacrifice of his son, Jesus Christ , who showed love to believers and non believers alike, during his time on earth.  This sacrifice is key, because without it, everyone of us, with all our sinfulness, would be sentenced to eternal condemnation.  (John 3:16). Because of His sacrifice, our only job is to believe in Jesus Christ in order to be saved! (Hurrah!)

The steps of Montmartre, leading to the Sacre Coeur

The reason why God is able to agape us is because He is love. This makes the two inseparable. (1John 4:8) For example, if you are a singer, you are able to effortlessly sing (in an ideal world!). If you are a painter, you are able to effortlessly paint. Consequently, we can only know this true, unflawed, and unconditional love when we come into the knowledge of God. 

This is why as followers, of Christ, who claim to know and to love God we are challenged to let our lives become an embodiment of agape love. This means our love should be an example to other believers and should definitely not discriminate against non believers, no matter the circumstance. (1 John 4:20 -21). Ladies and gentlemen, please let honesty guide your thoughts. How much do we love others? A good measuring stick against which we can put our love for others to the test is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. If you are abiding by these tenets then my dear, this is true agape. 

Filet de Bar, chez le Pullman à Bercy

Don't beat yourself up if you find yourself falling short of the guidelines set out in the love scripture, because frankly, without the grace of God it is impossible to abide by it! I would like to encourage and to cheer you on to continue to ask for God's supernatural power to work in you so you can be a true portrayal of agape love to your fellow man here on earth.


Aside from loving mankind, how else do we show our love for God? Through the obedience of his commandments! (1 John 5:2-3). It's as simple as that dear reader. Whilst sobbing your heart out during worship at church is a lovely gesture, true love to God is demonstrated through our obedience of his commandments. As they say, the proof is in the pudding!

The beautiful  Sacre Coeur standing proud and stoic (from another angle!)

That concludes my Love series. Hopefully, it has stirred up a longing for a relationship with God. Maybe you find you would love to live a life in the fullness of God's love, to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal saviour and to inherit this salvation I spoke about earlier. Or maybe you'd like to rekindle your love for God. In this case, please read aloud this sinner's prayer:

Heavenly Father, I recognise that I am a sinner, and ask for forgiveness for my sinful nature.

I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for me, rose for me and is coming back for me.

I declare in Jesus' name that I am saved!

Amen!

Simples! You are saved! You may want to get yourself a Bible, follow a daily devotional such as this one, and join a good prayerful, Bible believing church.

I hope you have enjoyed the third installment of my Love series. You can read parts one and two here and here. If you have any questions on anything I have shared with you in this lesson or the others please comment below. Let's discuss! Or send me an email at souljournersstory@gmail.com.

Until next time. Ciao for now! 

Let's Talk About Breasts

Breasts, tits, rack, knockers, jugs...whatever you wish to refer to the two mammary glands dutifully planted on your chest, we are going to speak about them today.

 Courtesy of eduncovered.com

This may not be one of my most exciting topics, but it is definitely one of my most important. I feel I have a responsibility to use this platform to share knowledge that could potentially save a life so here goes.

In the UK, the month of October is dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness.Breast cancer occurs when cells begin to divide and grow abnormally. If you cannot fathom why us Brits would dedicate a whole 31 days to breast cancer awareness, here are some facts that should jolt your reasoning into motion:

1. Every year nearly 55,000 people are diagnosed with breast cancer in the UK, that’s the equivalent of one person every 10 minutes
2. 1 in 8 women in the UK will develop breast cancer in their lifetime
3. Breast cancer is the second most common cause of death from cancer in women in the UK
4. Nearly 12,000 people die from breast cancer in the UK every year
5. Breast cancer also affects men, but it’s rare – around 400 men are diagnosed each year.

(Statistics are courtesy of Breast Cancer Care)

Please do note that these stats have nothing to do with breast shape or size!

My aim is not to scare monger but only to educate, and I feel we all have a duty to be aware. To bring it all home, I would love for you, if you are able to, to gather seven of your nearest and dearest girlfriends and female family members for a girly meetup. Once you are all together, look at those faces you love so much and cherish. According to the stats, one out of your group will develop this horrific disease  in their lifetime. It's a scary thought!

Why not get together over a nice meal and share some knowledge and good vibes?

But all hope is not lost, because I feel with education, faith and prayer all can be overcome! In light of this, I would love to share with you how you can examine yourself

There’s no right or wrong way to check your breasts for any changes. Try to get used to looking at and feeling your breasts regularly. You can do this in the bath or shower, when you use body lotion, or when you get dressed. There’s really no need to change your everyday routine. Just decide what you are comfortable with and what suits you best. Remember to check all parts of your breast, your armpits and up to your collarbone. (Info courtesy of Breast Cancer Care)

When you do check yourself, this is what you are looking out for.

(Infographic courtesy of Breast Cancer Care)

Again, I am not intending to plant seeds of fear. Besides, most abnormalities are not cancerous, but merely tissue swelling and cysts etc.  Lastly, please do spare some time to pray for cancer sufferers around the world and their families.

For more information on cancer awareness, what to do if you think you've got cancer, and ways to support cancer research, please visit  https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/

Advice to Students: The Last Round

If you decided to go to university this year, it is probably almost time for you step into your new life of lectures, independence and social groups!

This is the last installment of my Advice to Students series.  In case you have not read the others, I have posted the links below. But for now, please keep reading because the advice I have here is a result of my own personal experience, and I believe I could have performed so much better at university if someone had given me these tips. Trust me, you do NOT want to miss these.For those of you reading in the US, I am referring to what you call "college".

1.At the beginning of the semester, make note of all your coursework deadlines. Put them in your diary, and add in reminders one month, two weeks and one week prior to when they are due. I say this because your lecturer will probably only give you the dates, once, in the first lecture. He/she will not chase, or remind you. But he/she will definitely fail you if you miss the deadline. I studied French and Linguistics at Queen Mary, and made the mistake of not paying attention to the due date of my “Language in the USA” coursework. The result was a rushed piece of work, hastily put together the night before it was due. It attained no more than a C grade. Avoid this mistake, and it will save you so much stress.

2. Find out how your faculty prefers for you to do your referencing and stick to it. Here is a very good guide from the Anglia Ruskin university. 

3. I stayed at home whilst at university as the distance between my house and Queen Mary University was too close for me to qualify for accommodation. If you are in this position, strike a friendship with someone in halls. You will be grateful you did after late nights at Freshers events and the like.  

4. Although I stayed at home for most of my degree, I did study in France in my third year. It was my first time away from home, so I did feel very homesick, and quite miserable, until I forged some good friendships with the other ERASMUS* students.  My experience has taught me the benefits of joining clubs and societies. In my first and second year, I was a part of the ACS and the Christian Union. I met with like minded people and was offered a welcome break to all the studying and administration that comes with starting uni.

Thank you to my cousin J, for posing for me.
Good luck at uni this year!

5. Kind of contrary to my last point, it’s good to socialise but please do not let events,  nights out and group sessions take over your life. Remember in final year, when your grade is calculated, your lecturers are not going to care how many netball games you organised, or bible studies you attended. .

6. Spread out your timetable, and give yourself some room to breathe. In my first semester of my first year Mondays consisted to three two hour lectures, back to back. The result was constant learning from 11 am to 5pm with no break in between. The result was, I was knackered by the end of the day, and sometimes even skipped my last class altogether.

7. If you are taking a class such as literature, or any other class that requires studying out of one book for the entire semester get your own copy – even if it’s second-hand. Your campus library will normally only have a few copies of that particular book. 

8. Don’t lose who you are in the name of diversity. Uni will probably be the first time you will come into contact with so many belief systems, faiths and people. By all means love everybody and be open and non-judgmental, but remember who you are, and stand firm in your faith, your principles and your values. Getting caught up in things you have no business mixing with will only affect your studies.  

9. Make friends with the librarians on your uni campus. Life is so much pleasant when you have someone to offer you waivers and favours in the library. In addition to that, try and join a bigger library outside of your campus, because you may not find everything you’ll need on campus. I had access to other campus libraries of the University of London. I also applied for membership at Senate House Library, which helped me a great deal. 

Good Luck

10. Google Books and Google Scholar will be your friend. Shhh! That’s a bonus tip. I won’t tell you why now but you will come to find out pretty soon. Once you do, please let me know in the comments box below. Also, there is a very popular site that all your lecturers will tell you to NOT to refer to. But I found that scanning its pages briefly before starting a piece of work always gave me a good foundation of knowledge. Just don’t ever cite directly from it, and NEVER include it in your bibliography.

I hope you find these tips useful. Please do share any additional tips you might have below. Also, if you have any more questions about university please do post below or send an email to souljournersstory@gmail.com. 

If you enjoy what you read on this blog, please do show me some love and subscribe by entering your email address in the space bar on the right hand panel. I promise to return the love and send you exclusive posts on deeper and more heart felt issues. 

Read some more advice here and here.

*ERASMUS is an EU student exchange programme. 

Finding Perfect in Your Imperfections

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous

Psalm 139:14 , NLT

This is a continuation of my last post: It's OK to not be OK. If you have not already read it please do so here.

In the image above is what I would probably refer to as the most physically imperfect part of me. OK, to be real about it, I totally hate it! It bulges out rather than lie flat, and it has received totally unearned, and unwarranted stripes all over it. I hate to think the number of stretchmarks it will have after children. Yet I have decided to subject the whole world to it in order to prove a point. 

As you know by now, the one thing that most of us do is to equate perfection with looking like the models we see on TV or the magazines. We tend to think our lives are substandard if we don't get the grades we want, or have the dream job, or the perfect partner (or any partner at all for that matter!). 

I know that a lot of us have hang up about different aspects of our lives, or that we feel are some how lacking whilst we haven't yet achieved our dreams. You should never stop working towards your goals. Always stay loyal to your craft.  But whilst you are doing that here are my top tips in finding perfect in our imperfections:

1.Find your talent and share it with the world. I used to be envious of people who could sing. I always used to say to myself "if only I could sing". However by focusing on what I couldn't do I was making myself feel inadequate. This was until I started focusing on what I could do. Don't even convince yourself that you are not good at anything.  Because everyone has a talent! You might be a great public speaker.  Or good at solving complex equations,  in which case you can teach. Seeing others become blessed by your gift will lift you.

2. I was watching one of my favorite You Tubers not too long ago, and something she said resonated with me. That you should see your body as an extension of your soul. She used her fat arms, which she had always hated, as an example, pointing out that she no longer saw them as fat and ugly, but as big enough to give others good hugs, and in so doing offering comfort.What are the things about you that you hate, be it your physical attributes or otherwise? Do you feel your shoulders are to broad and unfeminine? Reconsider that the next time a friend needs a shoulder to cry on. 

3.Work with what you got.  Don't spend unnecessary money trying to keep up with the Jonses. The fact that most of my Friends have cars, and keep trying to convince me that I need one too doesn't mean I will just go out and get one. Competing with others will only make you financially and emotionally poor.

4.Embrace change and be flexible. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have placed all my hope, my energy, and my future plans on a job application only to be left disappointed. When these things happen you need to go back to the drawing board. There is no such thing as a dead end. Only bends and turns in the road...unless you refuse to turn, then that will be the end of the road for you. 

5. Be grateful for the present moment. You can practice this by simply saying out loud "Thank you God for my job...my health...my home etc". Gratitude will help you to be more positive. It will also place you in a position to receive more.

6.Get in the habit of giving to others, despite how horrible you think your life is, offer your time, your energy or your money to serving others. Your confidence will be boosted when you see the positive impact you are having on people. For example, I sometimes go through periods of exhaustion and total burnout until a member of my youth group tells me how a particular lesson has impacted their life. 

7. Look for windows of opportunities in the life you are living right now. For example, from 2010 to 2014 I was working shifts, and hated the fact that I was working at crazy hours. However, my job also offered a lot of free time, and the freedom of not being committed to a 9-5 meant I had the opportunity to do my masters. 

From the same vantage point, just shift your focus

8. Get used to the person you see in the mirror sans hair extensions, make up, shape wear, and even clothes. Get to know her. Smile at her. Wave at her. Talk to her.  Get used to her (or him). Let her (or him) become your friend. You are stuck with her (or him) for life.

9. This might be a slight contradiction to my previous point, but when you are not standing in front of the mirror naked, dress to impress. wear clothes that make you feel confident. Ensure you are well groomed. It will always boost your confidence. Others will also take you more seriously. 

10. Realise that no one's life is perfect. My life may look fabulous, but you have no idea of what else comes with the package. 

It's OK to not be OK!

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

                                                                                                                                       2 Corinth 12:19, NIV

I am glad many of you found my last two posts to A level students so useful. If you are currently studying your A-levels, please do read them here and here.

I am keen to keep non UK based readers engaged so in today’s post I would like to stay true to the purpose of this blog, and use my personal journey to hopefully encourage some of you.

In today’s perfection obsessed world, I feel that there is a lot of pressure for us to always seem to have it together. I attribute a big part of this trend to USERS of social media sites.  People can practically edit and filter their lives into a perfect but very false reality.

By now, you might have the impression that my entire life is neatly organised into perfect checklists.  Not so my dears!

As the oldest of four sisters, a youth leader and a newly joined member to the corporate world I find the pressure to always be calm and collected bares its weight on me so much!

You can filter all you want, but...

To share from my own experience, I worked as a communications assistant last year. At the time of the interview, I made a lot of outlandish statements about my multi tasking skills, as most of us naturally would . I didn't realise I would be expected to be a task juggling, kick-ass ninja! In my dedication to proving to myself, my colleagues and managers that I wasn't going to crack at the first sign of pressure, I remained stoic and steadfast in the face of a huge work load. The result? More work was piled on my desk. 

Also, I wanted to hear "them" say “well done”, if only once, during the entirety of my 12 month contract!

It seemed, I was too scared to hear my boss say “if you can't handle it, then leave”. And besides I didn't want to appear weak, so I continued in my project in silently killing myself. Eventually this led to many sessions, locked up in a toilet bawling my eyes out. After my contract ended, I mentioned this In a meeting with my now former boss. She looked at me like I had sprouted an extra head. Her response was “Madeline, I wish you had spoken up at the time”

I got it in the end!

The lessons I have learnt in accepting that it is OK to not be OK.

1. Life is not always plain sailing – accept that and you are halfway there.

2. It’s OK to cry. I once read that by the time a woman sheds tears, it is actually a build-up of many frustrations. So crying is really a release, If you don’t let it out it will make you sick emotionally, mentally or even physically.

3. Not having a rose tinted life is what makes it unique. Most of all, it proves you are human!

4. Acceptance of your weaknesses gives you something to work on.

Sometimes, life is full of blunders!

From experience, these are the things I have found helpful in accepting that we don't live in a world where imperfections can be simply edited out.

(P.S. Numbers 2,3, 5 and 6 are usually done after a mini tantrum!...Yes I am working on this!)

1. I have accepted that crying is not a weakness

2. I have found a confidant I can speak to when things get rough. Everyone needs a sound board!

3. When I do lose it, or things do not go as planned, I try to think back to the route of the problem? I.e. Am I really this upset because I left my bank card at home? Did I miss my train because I wasn't organised? This has helped me to better compartmentalise my problems.

4.  I hate being stressed, so I keep a diary (or two) to stay on top of things

Get organised. It really helps!

5. I am now in the habit of asking myself, “In the next year, will this even matter?”. If the  answer is no, then I keep it moving.

6. My other favourite question is “What’s the lesson in this?”

7. I spend mornings praying, and committing the day into God’s hands. I found this makes me less nervous about the day, especially when I know it will be full of challenges.

Prayer and a cup of coffee!

Thank you for your time. I hope you have found this useful.  

I will continue on this theme in my next blog post on "Finding Perfect in your Imperfections".

P.S. I have not forgotten about the third and final instalment of my Love series!

Advice to Students: What Not to Forget Before Going to Uni!

I have found it necessary for me to do a continuation on my last post on advice to A-level students. The sheer volume of you who read it is a good indication  to me that you appreciate the advice and support.

The pride and joy of my living room

As by now, many of you may have an idea of what university you are going to (if you are going), I would like to put together a short list of things you should sort out. I went to university in London my home city, so lived at home during my four year study. So admittedly even though I had A LOT to prepare, I probably wasn't under so much pressure like my counterparts travelling to elsewhere in the country.

My sister is currently going through this process with many of you, and in helping her with her prep we are having to organise the following:

1. Accommodation

If you are not able to stay at home (or frankly do not want to!), one of the first things you would need to sort out is where you will be living. For most of you this will probably be your first long stay away from your family, and although a foray into adult life, is a very exciting  time.

For your first year, it is best to opt for student halls on your uni’s campus. You really do not want to be dealing with landlords at this point, and also as a first year student you are a priority to your uni’s accommodation service. Accommodation should be easily organised through your university’s website, prospectus, or accommodation guide.

Another food resource is My Student Halls

2.Finance

Student bank accounts offer benefits such as a 0% overdraft, and high street vouchers. It’s best to shop around and find the best account for you. Please just do not opt for bank which has a branch in your uni’s campus. Ask for an information pack from each high street bank. Also, a good source of fair information is Money Saving Expert.

If you are a UK student, you should be entitled to a student loan, which will allow you to pay for your tuition and other study related expenditures.  Check out the Student Finance website for more information. Depending on your circumstance and/or the course you intend to study, you may be eligible for additional grants and bursaries. You will need to consult Student Finance or your course administrator for advice.

Another good source of information is Save The Student

3.NUS Card

Most students in a higher education institution should be entitled to a discount in a number of retailers, when they provide their student card. However, there are many shops that require you to show an NUS card. For just £12, why not get an NUS card, which will give you access to so many discounts online and on the high street, plus much more. Visit the NUS website for more details.

By the way, the NUS, does so much more than offer a discount card. It is an organisation devoted to defending and promoting student rights, so it is worth joining!

4.Travel

If you are studying outside of your hometown or home city, it is definitely worth getting a 16-25 Railcard for a third off all rail journeys. 

You can get one for free if you open up a student account with Santander!

If you are studying in London, take my word for it when I say travelling around the city is EXPENSIVE BUSINESS. Please, please apply for a Student Oyster Card. The scheme is closed at the moment, but will reopen when your university’s registration period has begun. If you find you have trouble applying after your uni’s registration date it will be worth asking for advice at your university’s student services office.  

5.Shopping List

Lastly, you will of course need to do a spot of shopping to help your transition into uni life comfortable. You will need to buy kitchenware, bedroom sets, stationery and books. For things for the kitchen, your room and stationery, I recommend Wilko, Primark and Argos, as they all sell great pieces at affordable prices. With Argos, you can make your order online and pick it up near uni!
It’s also worth looking in a £1 shop or 99p store if you have one near you.  I really believe in cheap and cheerful when it comes to shopping for uni.

Or you can go for something fancier!

For course books, you should wait until you are on campus, because you probably won't know what books you will need yet! Also because most campuses  have a bookshop that will  sell most of your course books. Your tutors are probably the best people to advise you on what to buy where anyway.

That’s it my lovelies. This list is by no means exhaustive as I have gathered my info from memories from ten years back, as well as my sister’s get ready process at the moment, however it’s a start.

My last piece of advice is to make the best of your uni years. It’s very expensive! However it’s not ALL about studying. Learn life skills. Have fun. Make friends. Embrace and love the different people you meet, but do not by any means lose who you are!

You should be fine!

If you would like to ask me further advice on any of the points discussed, or have any uni related angst and would just like to talk, please send an email to souljournersstory@gmail.com.

P.S. Good luck GCSE students. No matter the outcome, you CAN succeed in life.