Your Comfort Zone is the Enemy of Your Progress

“Your comfort zone is the enemy of your progress”.

I said this to dear colleague of mine last week. It was a phrase I read a while back. I repeated it last week to make myself sound profound more than anything else. But it seems my colleague friend accepted the adage with enthusiasm and has since been repeating it to everyone else at work.

Enjoying a drink with my colleague

In fact this phrase is more true for my professional life because in the last few weeks it has benefited from a few upwards movements. It has all happened so fast, and although these movements have been largely positive, I can’t help but feel a bit dazed in the aftermath of it all. Remember in my third post, I told you that my contract at work had finished? Then in the sixth post, I told you I was getting ready to return to work? Well this week, in fact today, I started a new job. 

“Madeline. Make yourself clear”, you might be whispering to yourself. 

Let me explain.

I have been working at my company since 2010. In 2014, I signed a contract to cover a colleague’s maternity leave in another part of the business. When that ended last month, my return to my original post was inevitable, and I did in fact occupy my original post for week. Then I was successful in my application to yet another maternity cover (yes, same business), and hence the whirlwind of activity in my work life.

I used the term dazed because although I thankfully have the familiarity of moving within the same company, I am not someone who embraces change so readily (I'm working on this). I am very pleased at being shortlisted from a pool of equally talented candidates, but this new role does comes with a bit more responsibility. However in my not wanting my comfort zone to tie me down and keep me as an enemy to my own progress I decided to take on this challenge. 

Need I say more?

This is exactly what your comfort zone is -  the enemy of your progress.

Don't shy away from a challenge!

There is nothing wrong with your comfort zone, because in life I feel we do need it at times to provide us with some grounding when other areas of life are not stable. However, be it your career, business, relationships or the pursuit of a personal interest it can also be the golden handcuff that might glisten like a new bracelet but is in fact keeping you chained to stagnation.

My creature comforts. I am in the zone!

How did I know it was time to move? I simply felt it. Here are some of the things that I experienced, which I feel are some of the hallmarks of outgrowing your current position in life:

1. I was bored at work 
I felt unchallenged. I literally used to fill up the work day with reading pages on Wikipedia, calculating my monthly budget and engaging in anything else I thought would distract me.

2.The slightest occurrences annoyed me
This I know this boiled down to frustration. I wasn't happy with myself and I feel I did actually do an 'emotional dump' on most people who crossed me at work, and this included managers! I no longer had respect for authority because I felt they were the ones holding me back. (I will address this in further detail in another post)

3. I felt overqualified
You might have attended every course going at work, and when this happens, it is time to move on. I didn't sign up to any courses at work but I did continue with my studies. I feel this is the only way I used my "golden handcuff" positively. My boredom pushed me to do my Masters in International Communication and Diplomacy. 

I hope I have helped you in identifying the areas in your life that need a little bit of shaking up. Please do leave comments below on how you are getting on with progression.

Lastly, I want to thank those of you who have been reading this blog and personally informing me how much you enjoy it. Please do let me know if you have any suggestions on ways to make this blog more enjoyable for you. And please do follow by clicking on the "Bloglovin'" tab on the side. You can also subscribe by email (also on the right hand panel).

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Miss T Says...

"We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think.

- Swami Vivekananda

Hi SoulJourners!

It has been a long time since we spoke. Please accept my apologies. The different activities demanding my attention extended themselves further than the time I have. Things have been mad crazy since my return from the states. I have been trying to unpack, wash my holiday clothes (which is real difficult without a washing machine of my own) and get ready for my return to work, which included ensuring my uniform still fits, signing new contracts, attending meetings, and the list goes on. 

Time goes by so quickly!

I do not intend to drag out this holiday lark longer than it needs to be. I do however want to share one last post about one of the women I met whilst abroad. To protect her identity, I'll call her Miss T. Miss T's  personality has left a firm imprint on my memory because I found her to be an open box of contradictions. 

Miss T be open like my boxes

I call her open because from the very first meeting Miss T opened the door to her life and told us to step right in. She offered intimate details of herself that I would have thought only her nearest and dearest would be privy to. From the get go we were invited to her home, she wanted to do business with us, she wanted to hang out, she wanted to visit us in London, she wanted to follow me on Insta...and so on. 

I speak of her contradictions, because whilst she lives a life that the super conservative christian might frown upon, she insists she is a child of God; her world is fast paced, yet ,"I love being the mother figure to the young person who needs a mother", she declared. I found her company both grinding and fascinating. I was fed up but still wanted to hear her speak...and speak is one thing she was good at! 

Amidst all of Miss T's talking however, I came to realise that all her speech was an accumulation of her life experiences. And as I reflect, I must admit that she actually had some precious jewels of wisdom that one could embellish one's life with, making it glisten with success. Now I can't remember everything she said, but I will share with you what I remember. 

1. Sell Yourself

You see my smile?
Let the best bits of you shine 

I don't think Miss T was referring to standing on a street corner here, or being full of yourself. But I do remember her saying that by the age of 19 she was a store manager, with employees old enough to be her mother working underneath her. She attributed this success to the fact that at her interview, she spoke very highly of herself to the point of almost bragging. She was unapologetic about raving about her skills (there might have been some embellishment in there too! Ssssh!) and refused for any past mistakes to define her. 

2. Step Out in Faith 
There may come to a point in life where you may think "enough with all the strategising, calculating, turning it over and under, and going around and around. Now I am just going to do it". Which is the same point Miss T arrived at only two months ago. Prior to April 2015, Miss T had a secure job as a paralegal at a law firm with a steady income. This was until she decided to step out. She gave up her job, put her house up for rent and moved to Las Vegas to start again.  Please do NOT misunderstand me. I am not advocating reckless behaviour. However when you are in a position in life that you are persistently unhappy with, and have a sensible and realistic plan to get you  to the place you'd rather be, and have prayed or meditated  and are at peace with your plan, you should by all means step out in faith. You may initially feel like a fish out of water but I strongly believe that if you constantly talk to God, stand firm in the belief of your success, and continue to take strategic steps, it will eventually pay off. 

This was the very painting hanging up in Miss T's hallway. 

3. You Will Never Get Rich Working for Someone Else

I can't say I have had enough work/business experience to be able to endorse this one fully. But I guess what Miss T meant by this remark is that your employer will always make decisions that will benefits his/her business. And these decisions includes your take home pay! Furthermore, working for yourself will drive you to be successful because if things turn for the worse, simply switching jobs will not be an option. I think this is what might have pushed Miss T. to quit her safe job as a paralegal in Ohio in order to start her own collection agency in Nevada,

. 

4.You Will Fail if You Venture into a Business You Know Nothing About

"Why open a restaurant, if you know nothing about cooking? Or about service?" Miss T exclaims one night whilst driving us back to our hotel. I think I totally agree with this. Miss T insists she is certain her collection agency will succeed after years of working with lawyers who specialised in claiming back unpaid loans for large corporations. If I am honest with you, I would apply this school of thought to most things in life, from business to blogging. I would like to add in my two cents and say if you are looking to venture into something new it would be advisable to get some work experience, attend workshops or to do some volunteering first. 

5. Always Read the Small Print

I think most of us can think of a time we wanted to beat ourselves up for not reading and reading the small print, or asking more questions before signing on the dotted line, or checking the box. Miss T's experience in law taught her to ALWAYS read the small print first. Fortunately this seemingly small act of wisdom saved her thousands of dollars on the monthly repayments on her car when she fell ill and could not work for a few months.

No more talking about my holiday.
The End

Well that's it for now. I hope these pearls of wisdom have helped you in some of your decisions, I also hope you have found them practical.

Everything Eventually Comes to an End

I don't know whether I'm grateful to come home to home cooked meals prepared by me (I'm missing my Ghanaian spices badly), and the familiar smell of my flat, or whether I could have benefitted with just one more week of sunshine, casual walks down The Strip and the bright and exhilarating lights of the city of Las Vegas. Whilst my mind, spirit and soul try to agree on where I'd rather be I thought I'd use the opportunity to reflect and muse on the past two weeks.

Time has a funny way of distorting itself to appear longer or shorter than it actually is. It just cannot be easily quantified. Whilst it was only a fortnight ago I instructed my sister to ensure my plants are well looked after in my absence before shutting my front door firmly behind me with excitement beating in my chest, it actually feels like I stepped on the plane in Manchester Airport a thousand summers ago.

Please don't let my plants die!

The time spent away from the hustle and bustle of London, away from the constant monitoring of finances and the monotony of the working week gave us the time to live life a little more deeply.  What I mean is that when we walked it was with less quickness,  when we ate we took our time, when we laughed it was more heartily, and when we spoke, it was with more conviction.  

We also had the time to appreciate the different characters we came accross, from the Somali taxi driver who insisted that "Lagos f**ked up", after learning my boyfriend is Nigerian (I know, awkward right?); to the Israeli lady who thought we made such a beautiful couple and wouldn't stop kissing my cheeks and hugging my boyfriend (I didn't mind though cos she gave us free entry into a comedy show); to the American woman who we met at the mall who then invited us to her house for a cookout, and then wouldn't let us leave (she scared me a bit - lol!)

I saw the world whilst in the LV

These memories, along with the many more we created,  some good some not so good, are what make going away worthwhile. Not only that, before the holiday I felt like I had been in the ring with Life and she was knocking me the hell out. I felt weak and exhausted and as if I had lost my way a little. So  I prayed that I would return to the UK refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to reenter real life. I can at least say I feel much more prepared to face the coming months.

What is more poignant is that whilst waiting in Terminal 3 of McCarran Airport I received a message reminding me that the first half of the year is almost over, and urging me to look forward to the second half with gratitude.The first half of 2015 hasn't been bad, but I feel this holiday is an official marker for me to "finish hard". 

Where have you visited this year? Where do you plan to go? Do you plan to take your short break at home?

My holiday might have ended, but now there is more progress,  more laughter (let's face it there are more tears too!) more learning, more success along the months of January to May firmly etched in my figurative book of appreciation I look forward to creating more.

Everything must eventually come to an end :-(

P.S. if you are looking to be led beside the still waters Vegas is NOT the  place. There ain't nothing quiet about Vegas!

Study Time: Love Thyself

How are you? I hope you are enjoying my blog so far.

I mentioned in a previous post that I am a youth leader at Living Springs International Church. This means I get to do the fun stuff like trips to the cinema, the Friday night youth club and organising our annual Stepping up Youth Conference (I will share more details about the event later). But the role also comes with the very serious responsibility of teaching the truth about the Word of God and moving the youth to live a life pleasing to the Lord.

One of the things I vowed to do when starting this blog was to cast my lessons as far afield as they would reach, because as any worker in the house of God, I would like what I do to expand beyond the confines of the four walls of the church. So every so often, I will be posting up my lesson plans, and this series will be called Study Time.

Disclaimer 1: As a believer in Jesus Christ, Study Time will be purely devoted to Biblical teachings. My other blog posts will be general motivational material. 

Disclaimer 2: Please remember that the original intended audience of my lessons are children and the youth, so please excuse me if Study Time appears to be too basic or childish for you.

So here comes the first lesson: Love Thyself

Key Bible Verses

1 John 4:8

1 Corinthians 13.13

Mark 12: 31

Genesis 1: 26

1 Timothy 4:12

1 John 2:16

Exercise: Do you love you? OK. In three seconds say three things you love about yourself. Was it difficult to do? read on...

What is love?

Dictionary definition: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection as for a parent, child or friend.

(www.dictionary.com)

Biblical definition: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude... It is not irritable...

(1 Corinthians 13: 4 and 5, NLT)

What's the point of even studying this? You might ask. Why is love important? To answer your questions, God is love (1 John 4:8), so to know God is to know love; also we are told plainly in black and white that love is the most important virtuous characteristic (1 Corinthians 13.13)

In Mark 12.31, in an address to a scribe* Jesus cited loving your neighbour as yourself as being one of the two most important commandments. We tend to grasp the 'loving thy neighbour' as the compulsory part of the command, and ignore the 'as thyself' part. So as good christians whilst we try to show love to our brother, or sister, or even our teacher we may not like much we do not put so much effort into showing ourselves that love.

How many times have we said “I’m so stupid!”, or “I hate my nose... my mouth...my stomach”, or “if only I had the IPhone 6…” Or how many times do we refuse to forgive ourselves for saying something embarrassing in front of the class? What are the parts of you, you hate the most, or you'd like to change?

I would like to challenge that school of thought and assert that BOTH parts of Jesus' statement is as important and BOTH are commands.  

How much do you adore and revere those in the public eye? Do you know you are just as talented, creative and beautiful as they are? Also, guess what? The best thing about you is that you are all real - not airbrushed!

So now, why attribute love to yourself?

We are created in God’s image

Genesis 1: 26-27 

• The Bible is not saying we physically look like God, because we don’t know what He actually looks like

• But instead, we reflect His glory, and His characteristics of love, patience, forgiveness, kindness and faithfulness

• This should make us feel worthy because God is worthy.

• Criticising ourselves is like criticising what God has so carefully created.

The Bible especially advises young people to do so

1 Timothy 4: 12

• Timothy was a young man in the Bible who was trying to lead a church

• Like us young people here today, Timothy was facing a lot of pressure and challenges from the church. So Paul wrote him a letter to encourage him

• The essence of the scripture is even as a young person, don’t see yourself as unimportant, and don’t let others see you in that way too. Show people yourself through the way you act, the way you speak and the way you live.

     How far should we take this loving ourselves thing?

      By all means love yourself wholly and fully, from the things you choose to put into your body, to the way you allow yourself to be treated by others, to the amount of time you choose to spend with yourself. After all, our God is not a God of halves. He is an all or nothing kinda God!

   

      However this does not mean we should be proud and selfish.1 John 2.16 tells us wanting things to fulfill our selfishness and being too proud, or boastful of the things we have (like our IPhones, tablets, Air Forces etc.) is evil. Moreover these things can quickly become a cover-up for our insecurities. 

Are there times where you have perhaps acted "too big for your boots?"

Write a list of two to three items you would feel "lost" without.

I hope you have learned something from today's Study Time. Please your comments, questions, or even the things you may disagree with below. I am keen to hear from you.  

Please do stay tuned in for more.

But before I leave you, please do me a favour: in three seconds tell me three things you love about yourself.

 *Scribes in ancient Israel were learned men whose business was to study the Law, transcribe it, and write commentaries on it. They were also hired on occasions when the need for a written document arose or when an interpretation of a legal point was needed.http://www.gotquestions.org/scribes-Jesus.html#ixzz3bJ1GaxUe

Closed Doors, New Beginnings

"Do not despise the day of small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin..."

Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) 

Here I am again! I am really trying to space out my blog posts a bit, but you know how it is like when you start something new...you just can't leave it alone!

I am really excited about this blog for a number of reasons. Firstly I have loads to say. But most importantly, it is only one part of what I feel is a time in my life where the winds of change are blowing over a few things. I mentioned in my last post some of the positive changes in my life I was making. However outside of me making changes, I feel like change is happening to me, without my permission.

What I haven't yet mentioned is that in the weeks before and after writing my first blog post, my life has taken a few sharp turns (some unexpected). For me, these occurrences (and note not all of them are what one would identify as being 'positive') signalled  a crossroad - i.e a time to make significant decisions. And these are the reasons why:

1. My contract at my current job came to an end
When a season comes to an end, for instance, the end of a job contract (as in my case), or a friendship, you are forced to think "What should I do now?". It's natural to want to find something to fill the void that might have been left by the sun setting on a particular area in your life.

Thank you note on my last day at the office!

2. I went for a job interview and didn't get the job
There is a scripture in the Bible, in Proverbs 13.12 that begins, "hope deferred, makes the heart sick..." So even God knows the feeling of deflation that comes with things not going as planned. If you are anything like me you don't normally have a plan B, so all your energy has probably gone into mapping out your life in one direction only. In the same way, I envisioned life on a certain salary, and in a certain routine etc. And when it didn't happen for me, I momentarily felt the proverbial rug being swept from under my feet,
So if like in my case,  things don't go to plan, you are forced to reroute.

3. It will be my birthday (Yay!)
Like new years or any other milestone, reflection and future planning are part and parcel of celebrating a birthday. This is because it marks a new beginning. After 'turning up', it's usually time when we think "right, what's next?...a year by this time...I aim to be healthier, happier..."etc.

Celebrating me!

4. My wonderful partner treated me to a trip to Las Vegas/ Hollywood (ok, you already know about this one)
There is something about going away that makes one carefree. You spend in one day what you would normally spend in a week, you eat enough food for a whole house of people, and are just generally merrier - which is OK, because we all deserve to take a slice of happiness for ourselves. Besides, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...ssshhhh! Whether your trip is a quiet break, a wild girlie one, or an adventure/exploration holiday, this period of positivity is a nice time to think about some of the maneuvers you might make on the road of life. However, in all the optimism it is important to set realistic goals.

I hope this post has given you some insight into some of my closed doors and new beginnings. I really just want to encourage you to see all occurences as an opportunity to make moves in life. Moving forward is ideal, but sometimes we may just have to move to the side, just a little bit in order to progress. But we must keep moving - and all of that planning will be fulfilled in the end. You remember that scripture I was telling you about? Well, it ends by saying "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life".

I hope you get your tree of life real soon.

Self Improvement.

As I write this post, I am actually sitting in a hotel lobby in Manchester, waiting for a flight to Nevada...and man, what a long wait it is!

The inspiration to write this post is drawn from a conversation I am currently having with my partner (also my travel partner). It is amazing the types of conversation that can be conjured up from a lot of free time.

I brought up the topic of wanting to generally improve myself in all aspects of my life. Before I continue, here is a disclaimer: 

I am by no means perfect, and don't always commit to fulfilling my goals. In fact there are many days where I simply cannot be bothered, but my journey does include lots of trial and error.

With that out of the way, here are some items from my 'self improvement list'.

1. Spiritual Journey -  Recently,  I made up my mind to wake up 10 minutes earlier than my normal time, to spend time with God. In my 10 minutes, I read my devotional (either Our Daily Bread or Word for Today) and its associated Bible Scripture, and end with praying.

2. Positive Mental Attitude -  Around two months ago, I pinned up a sheet of daily affirmations in my flat - one copy in my bedroom (so I can read it out whilst applying my make up in the mornings), and a copy on my fridge. I won't share it in its entirety, but it starts with "I am a daughter of the King...", in the middle somewhere it continues "...everyone who enters this flat will inherit the peace of God...", and ends in  "...Today will be a good day..."

3. Outer Appearance - I have always had a love for clothes, cosmetics, and accessories, but I have decided that I will begin to invest in more quality and less quantity. I also want my look to be a bit more tailored and classic. Lastly, I have recently been watching a lot of makeup tutorials, just to better my application technique.

This is not an exhaustive list, but just a cross section of what I am working on. And I am by no means Wonder Woman, successfully doing these things everyday. Also, there are probably other things, like eating healthier, or doing more charitable giving that could do with fixing up! 

However, I have felt an inner peace and more calm since I did start doing these things. I also generally feel better about myself, and more confident about the day ahead, each morning. (I plan to blog about some of the many 'demons' I used to, and still battle with, so you have a clearer understanding on what I mean). 

I do want to encourage you to work on your 'self improvement list' if you have one, or if you are thinking of embarking on the journey to simply start trying today! I am no expert, but here are some things I did which helped me, and can help you.

1. List your strengths and weaknesses/ or ask a trusted friend to tell you what they are.
2. Acknowledge your strengths and feel good about them.
3. Pray to God, or meditate, (or whatever it is you do), to help you work on you weaknesses (focus on two or three to begin with).
4. Invest in a journal, and write out the ways you intend to implement your areas of improvement (eg if you'd like to make more time for yourself, you could start by setting aside 20 minutes a week to go for a walk alone, or to go to a cafe to read a book).
5. Write down every breakthrough you make, and celebrate your success. For instance, you may want to record the first time you are able to save £20 at the end of the month)

It may seem strange at first, but you will eventually begin to feel good when you begin writing down your results. Also please, please do not beat yourself up when you forget to do something, or are not able to do it for any reason. Just determine to do it better the next time.

What are some of the things in your life you'd like to see grow and blossom? Please share. I am keen to know.